Why are women much more picky in their 20's, 30's, than what they are in their 40's and so on?

In my experience and observation, everybody, regardless of gender, gets less shallow and selfish as they get older. I would absolutely say this is the same for men as for women. They tend to care less about certain specific things as they get older, when it comes to finding a partner.

If I had to venture a guess, it would be because people have fewer options to choose from and because they are feeling the pressure of "running out of time." When you're young, you think you have plenty of time and you have tons of options, so you don't want to settle. You want to explore your options. As you get older, a lot of those options disappear and you have less and less time to find someone. So you start to let go of some of the picky things you thought were important.

Seems like pretty normal human behavior to me, when you think about it, and it doesn't seem gendered as far as I can tell.

 

Yes, women are inherently solipsistic and are more homogenized than men. Men's biological predispositions are more in line to benefit the group as a whole whereas Women procure a much more individualized approach. It is much more apparent after reaching a level of sexual maturity. The spherical expressions extend to all their facets. The focal point of a woman's narrow lens is to secure a suitable mate. This semi-intricate process features a high level of choosiness during peak selection years which occur in the late teens and early twenties. As a woman's ages her inner faculties shift temperament and as a byproduct becomes less selective. The hardened individualistic nature reduces unveiling more openness and therefore much higher social enhancements.

 

I think it's much simpler than that - people are as picky as their options allow them to.

 

Because every men on earth wants young, fresh and childless women.


Thats why:

 

It's funny how you post those two photos, but they contradict each other... instead of saying "don't be a land whale" for the women on the bottom photo, according to you in your first comment, it SHOULD read "make sure you are young, fresh, and childless."

That second photo is just absurdly dumb, sexist, and ignorant. I like quiet men, men with obscure interests, and I have no problem with a man not having a lot of money or not having college plans. Plenty of other women feel the same way. And to act as if women have absolutely nothing to be concerned about in the dating world is completely laughable. Even some of the things on the list that are presented as good are actually crappy for women. Why would I want to be with a guy who expects me to be boring and pretends to care about my interests but really doesn't give a crap, and all he cares about is that I'm not fat?

That whole thing is actually sexist against both women AND men. Women and men are both so much better than that stupid photo suggests. Plenty of women are not shallow, boring, and only interested in men with money, and plenty of men are not shallow, don't give a crap about the woman's personality and interests, and are only interested in a woman's looks.

 

Let's go through the list that supposedly men have to worry about and women don't, shall we?

1. "Spend countless hours at the gym."

I have never met a woman, in my entire life, who expects this of a man. Never. Not once. In fact, I'm pretty sure it's statistically proven than men care way more about appearance than women do, especially when it comes to weight. This photo even says so, by saying that's the one and only thing a woman needs to worry about.

There are just as many men in the world who have unrealistic expectations of how a woman's body should look than there are women. I would argue there are more men than women who care about their partner being in perfect physical shape, but even if you don't want to accept that, it's at least pretty equal.

2. "Follow a strict diet."

Lol are you for real with that one? It's absolutely insane that men are all of a sudden pretending that they are the ones who have some kind of insanely unrealistic body standard to live up to, and women have no idea what that's like. That's like... literally been the life of women for the past... oh, I don't know, forever.

And again, I literally have never met a single human woman who expects a partner who is on a strict diet or has some perfect Chris Hemsworth-like body. Never in my life have I met that woman, and I've met a heck of a lot of women. You know who I have met though? Men who say they don't want to date anyone who doesn't look like a supermodel. Meanwhile, they have below average looks themselves and don't even take care of their own body.

So again, it's either equal, or in my opinion (and I'm pretty sure actual statsidtuc research), men care about that stuff even more than women do.

3. "Make at least 60k a year."

60k is a lot, imo. I'm pretty sure my husband and I combined don't even make that much, or if we do, barely.

I'll give you this though, it is definitely more important for men, in the dating world, to have money than for women. I'll give you that one. Some things are more important for men, some for women. I don't, however, believe that women are all expecting you to make 60k a year. They might, however, expect you to be able to pay for dates, so in a way, they expect you to have *some* money, yes. And that's not an expectation men usually have for women.

See, I'm not unreasonable. I understand there are some expectations women have of men that men don't have of women. Of course. There are also expaxtations men have of women too, however, that women don't usually have of men.

4. "Give up personal hobbies to spend time with her."

I'm going to sound like a broken record, but I've never met a woman who wants their partner to not have any hobbies. However, of course you are going to sacrifice some personal things to spend time with a partner... that's expected of both parties, because that's literally just how a relationship works. If you don't want to make any sacrifices, then stay single, because that is required of you if you want to have a good relationship.

And if you think men are out here having to give up a bunch of stuff to spend time with their women, fo you think the women aren't doing the same? Do you think the women would have just been sitting at home staring at a blank wall, until a man finally enters their life and gives then something to do with their time? Women have hobbies too... and if they want to spend time with their partner, they will have to sacrifice some of their hobby time. That's just how time works.

5. "Be taller than 6 feet."

Sure, some women do care about that, which I agree is a crappy deal for shorter men. Plenty of women don't care though, or actually prefer shorter guys. I always liked guys who were around my height and maybe a little stocky, whereas my best friend was more into the tall, lean, basketball type of guy. People have different preferences. Men also have preferences. Some men prefer different heights or shapes of women. Some men prefer big boobs, some like smaller, some like more curves, some like thin model-types. Everybody has preferences. Most people are willing to date people outside of their preferences, though, if what they really care about is love and finding a good partner they enjoy being with.

6. "Have dark, handsome facial features."

Boy... are you kidding me with this? Is this dumb meme seriously suggesting that only women want to date people they find attractive? Get out of here with that nonsense. Everybody wants to date people they find attractive. When's the last time you saw Channing Tatum or Chris Evans with some ugly chick on their arm? Oh, right, never. Because men also like to date pretty women... obviously.

7. "Pay for her every need."

It's 2022. Women are out there starting their own businesses and making their own money. Nobody expects you to pay for their every need. That's just stupid.

Correction: there are a handful of ridiculous women out there who expect that, but that's dumb and rare, so just don't date those women. Sorry, but I seriously think there are probably more male rapists in the world than women in 2022 who expect their men to pay for their every need. So please, do keep telling me how women have it so easy in the world.

8. "Provide for any kids she may have."

First, I will echo what I just said. Women have been taking care of themselves pretty well. I actually just watches a comedy special by a single mom and she said something about a man saying he wouldn't be able to care for her child or provide for her, and her response was that she didn't just get this kid yesterday. She's been doing it for 6 years. She doesn't need your help.

So for the most part, if you meet a single mom who isn't on the brink of homelessness or something, she's probably good. She's been doing fine on her own. She really doesn't need you.

However, if you are going to seriously date a single mother, like with the intent of maybe marrying her someday, those kids are going to be your kids... so yeah, no duh you should be helping provide for them. If you don't want to do that, the solution is simple: don't date women with kids.

9. "Give up everything to show how much you love her."

No. That's really all I have to say to that. That's just not true at all. Nobody wants you to give up everything in your life for them. Stop being dramatic and pretending to be a victim of all these evil, oppressive women who apparently desire a rich man with no hobbies or interests or other things they care about in life. Who the heck would want that? Sounds incredibly boring. Only a handful of gold digging shallow people desire a relationship like that, and for every gold digging shallow woman in the world, I could easily show you her equal male counterpart: the shallow man who just wants a pretty face to stand on his arm, clean his house, and make his food. If you're thinking "that's just an offensive stereotype, most men aren't like that!" Then congratulations, you understand how women feel when we read stupid photos like this one you posted.

 

Thank you for your effort to write all this down.
But i still claim:
If you are a women, young, skinny and without children, you don't need to put effort in finding a men.
Just go to a dating app or a club and you will be approached by dozens of men. You can be passive and you have the choice.

Men in general are only watching if the women is young and beauty. They don't care, if the women is educated, has money or friends. So thats why women in the 20s and 30s can be picky.

I allways thougt, that this is unfair. Until i realise, that women at a certain age or condition are also losers in the game. The much older i get, i see more single mothers or women at 40+ who can't find a men.
They become desperate, because no men approach them anymore.

 

Okay. you can claim that all you want, but the truth is, you have no idea what a female experience is like in the dating world. Men around here love to talk about all their dating struggles and how easy it is for women, but when is the last time you had to text your friend the address of the place you're going, the time you're going, and the name of the person you're meeting, in case you get raped or murdered that night?

Is that an extreme example? Sure. But it's definitely something that pretty much all women are concerned about in the dating world, and yet it's conveniently left off of all these memes about how easy it is for women to date. Because y'all just have no idea what it's like to be a woman.

I have zero problem with men talking amongst themselves about their dating struggles, and I'm not trying to minimize those struggles. But I do have an issue with the constantly talking about how easy it is for women and making all kinds of assumptions about how little women just struggle with dating, when you have no idea and are leaving out a ton of very serious concerns.

 

You accidently swapped "women" and "men" here. You might want to fix that.

 

Just to make it complete ^.^

 

That would make the game unfair towards women, not men. You can get educated, earn money and befriend people but you can't become younger or replace your face.

 

Oh, that's a really good point. I propose to read "Female choice" by M.Stoverock.
She writes, that only 20% of all men are naturally attractive for women. But to prevent social conflict monogamy and marriage were developed, so that every men can have one women.
With today emancipation, social security and less social stigma, women are able to choose more naturally their men. Women are not forced anymore to choose men, which there are not attracted. That's in the first place a really good thing.
But as i wrote above, i am not sure if in the long run for the women this is win. I see so many older women or single mother, which are struggling and which are desperate, that i think sometimes it would be better for them to come together not with a attractice men, but which is loyal and reliable.

 

The absence of culture and the expansiveness of what online dating has presented. Without a rigid social structure that would itself reign in their neuroticism, it is now unchained producing unenviable results, all the while possessing the political advantage.

 

teenager girls are the ones who chase the guys who prep them selves, shave, cologne, clothes, shower, females in theyre 20s are more selective, they are more fertile its a mechanism they cant control, woman in 30s, looking to settle down with men who got it together career wise, this is the info i picked up in journeys of life,i dont know what exactly females in 20s are looking for, as they are fertile in that stage thu high sex drive,thus have no idea of nofap an pmo every night causing them even more selective

 

Oh, boo freaking hoo. Have fun in your victimhood mentality. See how far that gets you in life.

 

I'm glad you're here to respond to some of this stuff. There is very much an obsession with some users about the worst case scenario.

 

Yeah, like I said before, it's all healthy and fine to commiserate about difficulties. But when you start acting like women's lives are perfect and easy, you're basically just making them the enemy in your mind, and that's not helpful for anyone. I'm not the kind of person who wants to go onto any thread where men are talking about a problem and say "well what about women?? We have it hard too!" That's dumb. But when people start making claims about how women have it so easy or women don't have to worry about these things, I'm gonna chime in and say that's just not true. Not just sbecause it offends me, because it's genuinely false, and believing false things isn't helpful. It only makes you feel more depressed about your situation for no reason, because the thing you're depressed about isn't even happening. It's just sad to me how few men actually listen to women when they tell them things like they don't care so much about height, money, status, etc. If they just listened a little more to what women actually say they care about, they could save themselves a lot of stress.

Like in the example about sexual harassment. First of all, harassment is still harassment if people are hot, so let's get that straight. But sure, people feel differently about romantic advances when they're attracted to the person. But it's absolutely ridiculous to act like that only applies to women... like, are you really going to tell me, men, that you would react exactly the same if Cathrine Zeta Jones hit on you as you would if, idk, Rosie O'donnell did? I highly doubt it.

Everybody on the planet would be more receptive to flirtation from someone they are attracted to... pretending like that's some great plight on men, only inflicted by evil women, is ridiculous. And the same could be said for so many of these examples. It's not male privilege or female privilege. It's hot privilege.