Why are we so attracted to Sissy/Humiliation porn?

I think it has something to do with an inner wound that a man may have inside himself, especially any feelings of inadequate masculinity - whether as one abused from external sources (like school bullies, male bashing in society, maternal dominance, or paternal rejection, or sex abuse at worst) or internal sources (inner inadequacies, fears, lack of confidence, etc.)

It is sort of like the racial pain of the "N" wound attacking a particular race, and yet the members of that race may feel rather free (and somewhat soothed and consoled) in using that same term for each other - and only they can use it since they all share that societal wound. It's almost like a coping mechanism, or a way to deal with past abuse (by playing those tapes), and it may even be somewhat satisfying to pick at the scab even if it stings (like cutting) so as to relieve the real subconscious pain. The same is often true in the gay community, who are intensely insulted by the "f-g" word, and yet they may easily use it among themselves - again, a pain that victims hold in common, a shared woundedness, trying to heal/minimize its sting, and perhaps picking at the scab to learn to deal with past pain in smaller increments at a time.

Similarly, men who have any inadequacy whatsoever, which is probably every man, may feel a diminished masculinity, especially if the imposed assault was very direct against their masculinity. These kinds of tapes (as in voices from bullies) can get replayed over and over in one's mind long after such events even occurred. One might have even indulged in submissive sexual masturbatory fantasies with such bullies in mind - and if not the actual bully or some other circumstance, one may easily get drawn into submissive male porn, whether it be to a dominant female or a dominant male. A dominant male fantasy is often a subconscious need to feed off of another man's masculinity to make up for one's own perceived lack thereof (and it's only just a self-perception, not the reality). Of course, this never works/satisfies, even if the fantasy were lived out in reality. All along the only place to rebuild a healthy masculinity, self-confidence, or self-adequacy is by healing oneself from within through self-love, self-embrace, and self-acceptance (with realistic limitations and all, the truth of all men), and not through addictions or fetish behaviors that are false substitutes for love, even if they're momentarily and weirdly soothing, like picking at the scab.

It's the very reason for many addictions in the first place - to cover over the woundedness without facing or healing them - to get a dopamine drug rush (especially from MO) to relieve one's intrapsychic pain if only for a few minutes - then one can fall into a coma-like sleep, oblivious to all reality, all inner wounds, but only awakening to feel like shit at each sunrise. A recovered person feels joy at each sunrise and even looks forward to the day.

We should abstain from all porn at the start, even as we begin to understand our need for it - what purpose it serves. Continuing to watch porn only compounds the wounded complex, wiring more strongly the false tapes in our mind, and making recovery even more difficult. Everything must be rewound and rewired eventually. There's no freebee or getting away with anything if one wants to heal one day.

So, remember too, that just because you think it or fantasize about it, it doesn't mean that it is true. The same-sex attraction or warped fetish may simply represent highly complex symbolic language, similar to when we dream, which communicates myriads of words in just a short clip of imagery (a picture is worth a thousand words, so to speak) - and many times, like dreamwork, it may not even have anything to do with sex (just like sex dreams are often not about sex, but need for comfort, intimacy, or healing, etc.), and never mind sexual orientation or anything like that. Certainly not!

Wounds can and do heal, or they can shrink, or we can learn to embrace any scar that remains without it overhauling our integrity anymore.

Be at peace and follow the road of recovery, my friend.
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I believe mine stems from being bullied at school, one of my old fantasies was my school bullies, even if it repulsed me at the same time.

 

I like it because it's the next best thing to a sexual encounter with a female: To become your own "girlfriend".

Wearing pantyhose and nylon is something I actually liked before porn. The anal dildo stuff is about stimulating your prostate. And the rest of the "sissification" process is to become "your own girlfriend" (and also because it's weird af to wear pantyhose if your legs are not shaven or if you besides that wear guy's clothes)

So it's a bit more complicated for me.

 

Very well said!!!

 

This is an interesting observation and it would help explain a few things.

For one, the way the "sissy ideal" is a hyper-sexualized version of what women really are - in other words it's a guy's version of a kind of "perfect girlfriend" who is ultra-feminine, totally sex-obsessed, and devoid of emotional baggage - just there for fun.

It also would explain why, after a PMO session, one feels so revolted by what they've just done since the "temporary girlfriend spell" has just broken and the reality comes flying back into you that you actually have no desire to do any of that stuff with a guy.

 

Most people find humiliation porn to be arousing simply because it's an act of dominance, and some men unfortunately crave dominance over a helpless woman. If you're craving these clips it reflects that you are self-centered about sexuality and you would most likely be very selfish in bed. But in real life, it just doesn't work that way.

Selfishness and dominance in sex can feel arousing to a woman. It makes her feel important and desired but it's not something that you should abuse. Use it only enough to make your woman feel irresistible to the point where you just can't control yourself and want more of her.

Fantasizing about dominant acts could also be a clue about Low self-esteem and the desire for control and power. Anyways you can always dig deeper, interact with your subconscious and you'll surely come up with as many different scenarios as possible. Use your gut and you'll more than likely figure out the root cause in no time.

 

Good read, well thought out. Honestly I was in the verge of relapse (not to sissy porn but still) and this talked me out of it. God bless you

 

I do understand all of your perspectives and any trauma you guys go through but I honestly think I must be the minority because that sissy shit really just makes me even more dominant and gives me even more of a thirst and pride to be a man. I know how that sounds lol but really I am a fair decent guy not selfish at all maybe ambitious or maybe just driven but I know that you have to have some sort of control so noFAP but really just my perspective on sissy videos.

 

I didn't read the post, but I think it is just an extreme craving to embrace female sexuality. And since a woman is not present in the room, the man "puts on" the woman, and experiences a sort of hybrid sexuality combining both the masculine and feminine sexual experiences.

However, in the end, it is all just a result of bad thought processes and allowing the man's inner chaos to override his higher way of experiencing the world. A depravity that has went too deep

 

Yeah you right if your free and not locked up women are available there is no reason and no excuses but if there is no option it better pass for a woman

 

For me it was simple I was bored of normal porn for I started watching sissy and crossdresser porn and liked it before that I had never had any intention to dress up as a girl or become sissy so for me it was the effect of pornogrpahy

 

I just wanna say I am so glad for the wisdom and insight so available here.
God bless you

 

An inspiring read. Yea staying present and watching the thinker has really helped me with this self abuse. I haven’t watched the sissy stuff for a few years and finally T escorts have lost their appeal. But you’re right it’s come from a place of feeling less and angry with myself, a way of self trashing and affirming my negative pain body that keeps ranting on in my head. I way to escape the noise temporally but actually make it stronger and more disgusted at one’s self.

 

The Pain-Body Is Like a Mind-Controlling Parasite
According to Eckhart Tolle, the pain-body is a mass of negative energy that can occupy your body and mind. It is like a parasite, living in you and feeding on you physically, mentally, and emotionally. But the pain-body only has as much power as you give it; the pain-body feeds on the negative energy that is created when you get swept up in the emotions it produces and identify with the pain-body.

 

maybe its brain-washing? the reddit you posted talks about "bambi sleep" brainwashing which is closer to mkultra than to youtube subliminals.
I mean literal brain washing- messing with neurons

 

I told my hypnotist about it and he said it’s brainwashing basically very dangerous

 

it legit is and should be avoided at all cost i legit had a horrible experience with it (luckily im stupid and thought it was fap matrial and let me tell you its not and extremely dangerous and the sub reddit is a legit cult if you see in clean eyes) it took 2 days to shake/break whatever it was doing to my brain and it made me question what i was doing/thinking etc. and knew i needed to stop all Pmo forever or it will consume what little of soul i may have left. it legit traumatized me and im thankful it did in a way. if it wasnt for it i may not be on the path of being better then that.