I just relapsed for the third time in 40 days or so. It just kind of happened. I was groggy, out of it, feeling really shitty and it just happened. No P just MO. I did not have a craving for porn and I didn't make myself feel guilty afterwards so it wasn't bad. And I said to myself "I need to outline what I want out of this." Here are my goals: 1. Stop using Porn/masturbation for it's numbing effect. Stop using it as a weapon to avoid the hard things in life. 2. To normalize my sexuality again(whatever this means). To have a healthy sexual relationship with a partner and hopefully a healthy relationship period. 3. To stop feeling shame about my past porn use and masturbation (this seems like a contradiction but is important.) 4. To curb excessive masturbation CAN ANYBODY ILLUMINATE THE PATH TO THESE GOALS? IS ABSTAINING FROM SEX ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY? IS THE "REBOOT" EVEN A HEALTHY CONCEPT? IS ABSTAINING FROM OCCASIONAL MASTURBATION ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY?
In my opinion porn has always been the enemy and has controlled me to an extent that I could not allow anymore simply because it was not making me happy or giving a healthy view of women. Its all up you in terms of how far you want to take nofap. A lot of people would disagree with this, but I think its completely fine to masturbate regularly without porn. In fact, that is completely normal non-destructive behavior and is natural. For me, I am trying to do nofap indefinitely. my goal is to find a partner and not get any sexual release until that happens (If thats not motivation for talking to girls then I don't know what is.) So for me It is absolutely necessary at this stage. However most of those goals can still be reached even if you MO without porn as long as its done responsibly. My advice is: absolutely no porn or sexual stimuli until you find a loving lifelong partner, and then your needs should be satisfied without having to turn to PMO. That's my long term goal but your priorities might be different. Do what you think is best. Don't overthink it. Be honest with yourself and do what is going to give you the best results.
