A thought that’s been in my head as of recent: we’re all heroes of our own stories (or at least we’re supposed to be) I’m the main character, the big lead of my life metaphorically. I’ve been improving every year, making more money, have a house, a dog, getting more social, going out, getting fit, down to like 18ish percent body fat, started Jiu Jitsu made great friends, I don’t watch porn more than like 6x per month. Despite these great strides in improvement, I can not seem to ever land the girl. I get sidelined, they pick someone else, or just don’t stay. So that begs a few questions: am I picking the wrong girls? Am I still not improved enough to be worthy of a woman? Do I say odd things when I’m with somebody? These are the things I struggle with.
Just be patient. You are doing all the right things. Try taking PMO all the way to zero for a while. Also, don't say too much around a girl if you are trying to get her. Get in close.
First, cute title and know that you are not alone. Second, I cannot pretend to have the answer to 2 of your questions but for "Am I still not improved enough to be worthy of a woman?" dude, you are worthy and you were even before. Know your worth, it does not depend on your skills, your percent body fat, you are worthy of being loved and loving back and if you know that in your core it'll show and it is attractive. Also, look at soo many guys who are lame, lazy, mean etc and still have a girlfriend. I don't know when you (or I) will get the girl but I know you deserve to be happy and you are worthy, Thor.
I’ll continue to do all I can as far as PMO goes. Women are difficult and frustrating for sure. You talk to them too much, you’re needy, you talk less you’re distant. Very difficult. But thanks man.
Thanks man. Self confidence has always been a struggle of mine. I like to say I’m cutting down to 12 percent for myself, but honestly a lot of it is motivated to look good for women. I know it’s unhealthy to think like that, but I really don’t know another way. I’m just so tired of being alone.
Surely it’s not that simple. I’ve been on 50 and 60 day streaks and still no gf in that time. I know people who were watching when they met their girl. That can’t be it.
Well I would like to suggest to do a 90 days full reboot. You are using porn every few days. Means your addiction is fully alive. Try a 90 or 180 days full reboot instead.
You've to wait in queue man, I'm sorry I'm before you Those things you described are not most important. They're good to have but you can land a girl without any of them so you just count them as a perks but none of them are reasons for woman to fall in love with you. You don't build chemistry in relationship based on your wealth. This is not something easy to explain, especially that we don't know each other... If you say that you've great friends then come to one of them with a bottle of alcohol and talk it through. It sound like to have a girl is like a final boss and your side quests are things you mention. It doesn't work like that
You shouldn't measure your value on having a woman or not. As they've told you above, you are more than worthy, but not of a woman. You are worthy of yourself. Be happy with what you are, be happy with your development and the girl will come. She's not the prize, she's part of the process.
Then you might have a confidence problem. The cure is generating more earning power. You can improve through education, working hard, getting your finances in check, trying for a promotion, or working a side job to build up some savings.
These things don't guarantee you get a girl. The only thing you're guaranteed in life is being born and dying.
Doesn't depend on activity or other worldy things. It's more or less that we reject it by believing we don't deserve it (limiting beliefs). Doesn't have anything to do with other people at all! Don't worry. Read what you wrote and i quoted.. did you believe that? If you do it's possible that the believing of these things prevents you to reach the girl even if she is running after you. Saw this stuff happen in front of me eyes! For example: Do you get sidelined? Are you sure? is it possible that you sideline yourself in the process? Do you feel you have to improve to be worthy or is it possible that you simply are worthy and need to start to beleive that? Do you think you say odd things when with somebody and in doing so others see you odd because you think you are, or worse, only you think they see you odd?? When maybe they don't at all? Experiment, give the benefit of the doubt to everything. You may find a lot of thoughts that you think about yourself that are of the same kind: not making you feel good on the subject. I can suggest to you in some way, slowly, to start to change these toughts with better ones. Find someone who is good with girls and observe/see/ask him what does he thinks about himself regarding girls. And i can tell you this: if he thinks good thoughts it's not because he has girls. He has girls because of good thoughts! So you can start modeling yourself on these toughts to become like someone who has them. I can suggest Abraham Hicks that helped me a lot. I'm not joking when i say that one listening of a simple 10 minutes video can make me change my mood instantly... And in the long run i'm less and less indulging in self pity thoughts because i'm frustrated and i start to prefer better feeling ones. Not less important, enjoy the process, listen to them, love them (the girls)! Good luck, girls are on your way!
I see your always in social situations with trying to get with girls. It’s the best to have one on one time with them or a solo date so you two have room to breath and chat with air flow. I never really go to bars. Never liked the loud music and it was always difficult to socialize with Woman. I myself have been “blocked” out side of bars and I guess I choose the wrong Woman as well. I seemed to always run into the uptight and stingy ones… What worked well for me for a period was just finding a solo date on Facebook Date. It was a huge confidence boost for my first date in ages. We chatted over 2 hours… Even if it fails it’s always a step up the ladder.
