I was just tinking about exactly when I would decide to fap to porn. Is it when I started doing the deed? Is it when I opened the web browser and typed in a certian webiste? Is it when I felt the urge to fap? Is it even before I felt the urge? The same question can be asked about any decition, be it fapping, eating a box of ice cream, watching hours of netflix, studying, going to the gym, buying a car or something completly else. It would be very usefull to know when a decition is really made as we then can affect our behavior the most. I lean towards thinking that we make the decition somewhere between the urge to do something and starting the act itself. I'm not sure that deciding necessarily is a single point in time where the behavior is triggered in an unreversible manner either. Take fapping for example. From my experiance there is a initial decition where the behavior is started, but it still is reversible. I might have typed in a partial website url or loaded a website, but then close the window. Does that mean that I had not decided to fap in the first place or that I made a new decition to not masturbate? If I continue down the path of fapping, I find that it becomes more and more difficult to change tracks before I reach the station, to use a methaphor. In that way it seems that a decition to fap have a sort of momentum. Like a snowball rolling down a mountian, growing into a avalance when it reaches the valley below. It is simply harder to stop the further down the mountian it rolls. While this applies to fapping I'm not sure that it applies to all decitions, at least not to the same degree. I realize that this turned into a ramble from my end, anyways do you guys have any thoughts on this?
I think this is important because we often don't realise that even after we have made the decision, even after we have felt our resolve snap, there is still time to say "no" and turn away. I used the phrase "no, I don't do that anymore" to turn myself around in those moments after the decision had been made.
Interestingly enough, I would pose a decision is only made in retrospect. As time is a flow, and your mind can at any moment change behaviors, you are never actually committed to an activity. Decision implies commitment, which I think can only be presumed to have occurred after the activity has been accomplished without abandonment.
