What's the problem with M & O ?

This question comes up a lot. It's bad when you're a porn addict b/c it's part of the addictive cycle. P leads to M and O. So if you start Ming you will eventually start P again. Sure many people can do healthy M, but most of us are doing it daily for hours which isn't normal.

Besides, who exactly has told us it's normal? Cosmo? Playboy? Big Pharma?

 

Good luck bud

 

When you'll get further into your reboots, you'll realize that demonizing P (over everything else) is just a necessary first step in changing our behavioral patterns to something healthier and with far less consequences for our physical integrity, relationships, social life, etc.

M is one of the sub-patterns that will eventually get pushed out of the way and out of our lives, first of all because (as mentionned earlier) it leads to P for us addicts. And second because we, as addicts, use it to numb ourselves and as a form or escapism. When we realize that, there's no more considering it harmelss - it's a piece of the unhealthy puzzle that we keep reassembling everytime we give in.

Understand that we're not in the norm - as in the normal repartition of a population, the bulk of people - and while MO might be totally harmless to them, we have a vulnerability in our mental setup that makes it harmful for us. Recovering alcoholics can't have the friday drink like you and I do - it will trigger thier own vulnerability - because it's dangerous for them, but totally harmless (in moderation) for us.

Long story short, there is a danger in trying to consider MO as normal and/or not that dangerous if you're posting it here - because you're here for a reason. And maybe this reason is, like it did/does for many of us, trying to warp your perception of what's good and bad in order to get it's dopamine fix, no matter the cost. Don't let it win - you're the one in control

PS: I'm not saying that MO is inehrently bad and should be abstained from. But it plays a role in the condition we're trying to overcome here, so that's a concern!

 

I think down the track after a reboot we should look at MO differently. It's essentially a self induced reward, but what has one done to earn it? And without any intimacy from a partner, the orgasm would leave us feeling empty.

Then there's the loss of energy, and the void of 'happiness' left after MO, which could easily set up a trap for porn or just more MO. Before you know it 3 days have gone by and you have lost most of your energy and passion for life.

I know this site doesn't discourage masturbation outright, but really isn't is just another illusion of real intimacy? My 2c

 

m can lead to p.

 

For me, M caused depression, stress, guilt, increased social anxiety levels, low level of confidence, blurry mind, dull mind etc. That is just vanilla M, I don't even want to remember who I was when I did PMO 1 - 3 times a day.

 

I can only speak for myself, but I imagine what I've been through is pretty common.

I've only ever masturbated while using some kind of porn, be it sexting, or audios, or typical pics or videos. Like, I've tried it without, but it just doesn't work. I literally have no interest in it. I can't get it up for it. Which means if I do try that, I'll have to go to porn, or think of past porn I've seen, to complete the deed. Either way, be it with pixels, or pornographic images in your head, its feeding your brain porn, which, as you know, is very unhealthy.

That's just me though. Its certainly possible that someone (maybe guys a generation or two above me) who was masturbating regularly before porn was common or they were using it to masturbate on just the sensation alone, without any pornographic images of any kind. But I highly doubt anyone born after the mid-90's was able to do that.

@Foundation, I don't know you, but I see you're 18, and (I could totally be wrong about this) that leads me to believe any P or M habits you have are very intertwined, as they probably started around the same time. Which means this question "Is M without P okay?" is a rationalization by the part of your brain that craves P. By starting with M, that will make you crave P even more, and break your willpower. I'm 99% sure that's whats going on here.

Maybe after a super long reboot (like a year +) you'll be able to M without being tempted to go to porn. I could be wrong about that too, judging by your counter, but its a slippery and dangerous line you're walking on. Be careful bud, we're here for you.