What is it with the obsession some Fapstronauts have with virgins?

As a Christian I prefer a girl being a virgin, however, I myself am not one nor would I only settle for one. I believe we should judge her by character and not what she did in the past. I believe men who only desire virgins are ignorant and fail to see how unrealistic that may be in this day and age.

 

There's a reason why all throughout human history, across the majority of cultures, virgin men and women have been paired with each other. It's because of social cohesion. Men and women fundamentally need each other and society needs the stability too, and in the past we seemed to recognize this basic truth, and have since forgotten it (or to be more accurate, had it forcibly altered in order to accelerate cultural decay.)

Your general attitude is a sign of how well this societal conditioning has worked. Without even realizing it, you're condoning a change in the way society, nearly every society, has worked for generations, that is now leading to the shitshow we have now. More young men are straight up not having any sex at all than ever before. The same is happening to young women, just slower and on a smaller scale.

Now let me fill you in on a little secret about what has also happened all throughout history when young, working class men don't feel like they are actually part of the society that they are expected to break their backs to support: they get ANGRY. I'm not referring to angry like "Shoot up a school" angry. I'm talking "Break into government buildings and hang the politicians from the rafters" angry. You can call me delusional if you want, and I'd call anyone who doesn't see what I'm talking about naïve for not seeing where things are heading in countries across the world, especially in the West. Ask yourself this, and this is a serious question: When young men are making less money than their parents, when they can't afford a house, can't pay their bills, have no friends, are bombarded with propaganda designed to make others hate them and men hate themselves, and don't even have a woman to bear their children, what moral responsibility does he have to continue propping up the system that created this nightmare for him? If you ask me, the only reason it hasn't all burned down already is because men are pacified with porn, videogames, and other cheap distractions, or have been made ill by the poison in our air, water, and food and are thus unable to do anything. Being a man with a chronic illness, I'm the latter.

So no, it's not just a fetish.

Yes it does. In a lot of cases a woman's hymen breaks when they are first penetrated. There's also the debate about micro-chimerism but that's a whole can of worms.

 

People are entitled to their opinions. If some men wants to marry a virgin for religious reasons, let them do it. But reality is that women often has to lie about being "pure" because having many sex partners as a woman is a turn off. Most women arent nearly as inexperienced as they make us believe. I like it the way it is but I also know that it is all a big theater. Its not illegal to want to date a virgin but it is also a fools errand. The vast majority of adult females have sexual experience even if they claim they dont. By excluding everyone with experience, you dont have many left to choose from. Sexual experience doesnt make anyone a better or a worse person. If anything, they now know what they want and they have experience with dealing with relationship problems. Also, it is a bit hypocritical to expect women to be virgins when we are not. On average, women has about the same experience as men. Think about it: For every sexual encounter there usually has to be a man present as well as a woman. The difference between men and women here is that men tend to brag about it while women gets shamed.Thats the reason you can usually multiply mens claims by 2 and divide a womans claims by 2.

 

I can think of few reasons:

1. They have virgin fetish. A fetish that has probably been conditioned into them by porn—"porn brain", basically.
   
2. They are religious. In which case yes @hhh999, they are living in the medieval Europe, and not in the 21st century. Cause whatever religious book they follow has been written by people with outdated moral systems hundreds, if not thousands, of years ago. That's none of my problem though, people can practice whatever religion they want; as long as they don't try to impose their beliefs on me I give the same respect of leaving their beliefs alone in return. But the fact of the matter is that for a lot of people who end up at this forum nofap is a religious thing (cause according to them masturbation is sin or whatever), so naturally they will make these types of threads with similar themes about other things.
   
3. Lack of self esteem. They are either virgin or at least very sexually inexperienced, maybe even involuntarily celibate. And they feel insecure with partners who have more experience. Or even feel some type of resentment for their partner having all of that fun they could not get themselves, because deep down they value body count, and it makes them insecure because they perceive their more experienced partner to have more value than they think they themselves have. And due to their low self esteem that is not the relationship dynamic they want to subscribe to. So often, if they are not self aware enough, you will see them around here posting comments backwards rationalizing their insecurities into those appeal to natural or appeal to tradition fallacies.
   
4. They have stuck into the rabbit hole of the Red Pill philosophies. I don't dislike the Red Pill, there are some harsh truths there, but there is also a lot of nonsense, misogyny and arbitrary double standards. And a lot of younger men, who do not have positive masculine role models in life, flock to this stuff and get brainwashed into things like that idea that somehow people have some type of value that changes depending from their body count. The only value is the subjectively perceived value in our own heads.

In the end of the day people want what they want and don't want what they don't want, for their own reasons that is probably none of my business. So we should stop worrying by whatever other people want and focus on improving our own lives. It's easy for me to criticize others, but in the end of the day I am just a porn addict like everyone else here.

 

Sounds like purity culture. I grew up in it myself and believed it was a sin to date anyone whom I didn't plan to marry. I'm no longer Christian and have come to realise that relationships can be messy. People who've never been religious fundamentalists may not understand this mindset but it makes perfect sense to a fundamentalist.

That doesn't sound healthy to me. Why would someone in a relationship be looking for someone else? You only end a relationship if something is wrong with the relationship and it can't be worked out. The grass is always greener on the other side.

 

Unpopular opinion.

I used to knock the religious believers too, until I really sat back and thought about how waiting for marriage makes a lot of sense and helps society as a whole. First, it would teach young adults about self-control and self-mastery, something a lot of people are clearly lacking. Second, it would help young adults prioritize what is important in a relationship (love, communication, and shared beliefs) which should result in stronger bonds. Third, I think it would cut down the amount of unwanted pregnancies and reduce the amount of single family situations, which would give kids a stable environment in order to thrive, as well as, giving kids a good example of how loving relationships work. Fourthly, I would imagine in a world where this was adopted the amount of STDs would be significantly lower --same with abortions as most women who get them do so because they are scared of raising a child alone.

Lastly, I think the waiting until marriage and wanting a virgin makes sense because comparison is the thief of joy. If two virgins get together, they would have nothing to compare their experience to thus keeping them from thinking the grass is greener somewhere else. Also when two people experience something together for the first time, it creates a bond that last throughout your life. One prime example of this reality is almost everyone who has had sex remembers their first time. Not only do they remember it but some remember it so well that even decades later they can tell you in vivid detail what circumstance lead up to it and who it was with. That is a strong gift to just throw away on some random person.

 

Maybe its the wish to find some sort of restart in the other person.

Everyone who was struggled with porn must have come to the conclusion their sexuality was busted. That can be a sad feeling.

Then to find someone whos sexuality still seems intact by virtue of not having taken place, might be a way of starting fresh.

Idk, it's just a thought. Personally, I do not believe in the whole clean/unclean thing, and I do not feel my own sexuality is inherently tainted bc of my past porn issue, nor do I think virginity to be important, nor do I think being a virgin guarantees a person doesn't have issues with their sexuality (droves of men who hate themselves for still being virgins come to mind).

But I can entertain the thought of wishing for someone who never had the issues we have, and to have a good start by proxy. But then again, what do I know :3

Never subscribed to any of them pills, or any other strict categorization of human sexuality, they all seem reductive to me, bringing more confined thinking than they bring workable clarification. Das just me, tho.

 

A pretty virgin girl in the 18-22 range would actually be the “best deal” for a guy from a lot of different perspectives… I think they are just being idealistic when they say this

for others, they probably have bad feelings about the thought of their girlfriend — that in the past they had sex with another guy