Well, hope this really is a first step

Hello there, to whomever happens to be reading this. I'm sea and well, I live quite an alright life actually. I'm doing stuff on my day to day, I got good friendships and a nice relationship, goals in my life are getting accomplished and I'm alright mostly.
However, ever since I was a kid, I feel I've had a bit of a bad relationship with sex and masturbation. It probably had to do with early exposure to the internet combined with absent parents, but I ended up masturbating a lot on my day to day. During my teenage years I actually got caught masturbating several times and my porn habits kept getting worse, both in terms of frequency and content (for example, I got in the habit of masturbating to pictures of friends or even family members, which I certainly am not proud of). I also believe the objectification of women through porn led to me emotionally hurting my first partner.
After the breakup and during the following years (this happened at the beginning of the pandemic), I deleted all the nudes I had of her. However, when I got an urge, I would try to find any way to find old videos or photos of nudes as well as regular pictures of her to jerk off. First, by checking old whatsapp files still on the cloud, then looking for nudes in an old phone, on an old laptop, trying to backup from whatsapp or even downloading software to try and recover deleted files on my hard drive. Everytime I found something I ended up deleting it, but some other day, I would go to further depths to find it, there really was a thrill to it and it really was consuming me.
When I got out of that, because trying to find pictures or videos had become really difficult, I happened to come across a revenge porn forum. At first I was disgusted by the posts and all that was going on there, but someday that I happened to be horny, I ended up caving in and slowly I have found myself spending more and more time on these forums and I really am disgusted by it, since they go against everything I stand for.
At this point, I have taken the decision to join nofap because I feel unable to stop returning to these websites and I still happen to jerk off to pictures of friends or people I know and I despise sexualising my friendships, given how much I love them. My aim is to stop watching porn and if anything, reestablish a healthy relationship with masturbation. This ended up being waaay more long and detailed than I anticipated, but thank you for reading this, I felt I really needed to get it out of me.