We have to play the game.

If we refuse to move with time, we will be steamrolled by it. We will indeed be forgotten, to actually realize that isn’t so easy to accept. The more we say it, the more we see through it. Let’s face it I’m losing steam in life. I’m working but my body is getting tired, coming home I can only find so many distractions.

The internet to me is just a minefield, I no longer can spend time and not realize it. I now see why porn was wrong to watch, I get it now. I can blame it for my problems, but it’s not gonna do anything. I made the mistake just like most of you and I have to live with it now.

Yes you can love yourself to a point, but you lose steam when it’s only your voice saying it. When you come home again to an empty home. When you wake up in an empty bed, it all just reminds you. Then I’ll have people tell me it’s not so good being with someone. So I’m stuck, I don’t have it and I might not really want it.

I don’t know what any of you desire in this life. You get money, you get free time, you can do whatever you want. You do drugs, drink, play video games. Have your hobbies which I have too, some of you people don’t have any of that. I got a refined life that’s not so bad. Yet I will never forget what I desire most. So for life I just wait, I go about my life with the hope I will find my peace.