Way of quitting porn that's worked?

ya bro.hmmmmm

 

I successfully quit porn cold turkey. How? Install the k9 web filter, and have someone else register their email address + create a password for the program (a password that you won't know). Free and easy to use. Best part? It is amazing, and also blocks proxies so you can't get around it. You can't use proxies to begin with because the filter is half on your computer, half web based. So if both parts of the filter can't communicate, you can't access the internet period. It's very very very unlikely you can do this all on willpower (no pun intended). You need to "radically amputate" (so to speak) all triggers, and ways to access those triggers. This also means installing the filter on your phone, tablet, and even avoiding friends who are involved in the same walk of life.

Having someone else register and create a password means you can't change setttings on the program without their password. You also can't sneakily change the email address associated with the account. But also, you can't delete or remove the program without the password. It's really a win-win all around.

PM me if you have any questions or need support!

~Will

 

The highway to success is to change your overall behaviour. Especially make a change with your social life.
And find other activites which will truly fulfill you.

Always keep in mind that the addiction is the RESULT of a deeper problem.
Mostly, the root of your addiction are fears, doubts, shame, and other negative emotions.
By looking porn, you calm down yourself, it is a way to cope with these emotions.

Your fears are holding you back from a normal healthy social life. So if you want to change something, then try to break free from your fears. Do it step by step.
And start TODAY. RIGHT NOW.
If you always wanted to meet a friend, but you always postponed it, then do it RIGHT NOW.
If you always wanted to go to the gym, then do it RIGHT NOW.
If you always wanted to learn a new language, then book a class - RIGHT NOW.

 

I'mma go with the contrary and easy answer. I did quit porn successfully, and cold turkey, on January 2nd, 2014. I didn't installed any blockers for the very reason that I have an absolute contradictory mind that means that if I feel that I'm not allowed to do something, or if something blocks me, I will do anything in my power to bypass it. Just because. It makes you desperate, as you say.

The problem is that when there's no blockers, the only thing you got is will power. I don't have any, I faked having some until it was easy enough to just ignore the urges. At the beginning I recall clenching my hands very hard in my back so it wasn't facing my genitals, all muscles tensed so it would force the blood out. It was tough and tearz rolled but I made it, now I'm free.

To quit an addiction, I believe that you have to focus on other things. I see a lot of stuff that's very encouraging in your story. For example, studying can replace porn. If you have an addictive mind, it's not much the subject of your addiction that you research but more the addictive behaviour. You can focus totally on being successful. I read what you wrote though and I know it's stressful for you. So maybe try to find something that you care about MORE than you care for PMO. Find your dreams, act towards them. You need a good reason enough to quit, because if you continue to have enough fun to be able to rationalize, it's likely that you never will really quit.

Congratulations for moving out of your room, it's a very good choice and you should be proud of it!

I see you say a lot that you don't have the time. Perhaps you have to create it? Perhaps tricking your mind would work? Like, saying to yourself: ok, normally this is the time I would PMO. Instead of that, as a symbolical sacrificial act, now I will work on my writing skills and start my novel, using the dedicated time I normally use for PMO for something that is infinitely better. You also can write in libraries?

Sorry for not being very helpful! You can ask me anything and contact me whenever you want. I wish you the best day ever and all the strength for your reboot!

 

I haven't totally quit porn yet, but I have brought it down from everyday or so to about 5 times in the last 2 months.

I also installed K9 web protection on both my computer and my phone, but there are ways around it if you really want to.

I found one of the best ways for me was to take gradual steps to build willpower and allow yourself to adjust.

For example, I transitioned from using porn to using just pictures..then transitioned from using pictures to using non-sexual and non-nude pictures....then transitioned to using only one picture.

I found this worked well, because I was still able to condition the urge to a lower and lower level. This also gives you time to make lifestyle changes as you move along, because sometimes lifestyle changes take time to develop to a point where they can actually replace whatever function porn is serving.

Anyways, hope that helps!

 

Oh, I fully understand this, I have been through this myself, when studying computer science (I finally finished it)

Learning at the library also worked very good for me.

But even better it is to team up with other colleagues and to build "studying groups".
EVEN BETTER it is when you take the initiative yourself!

Do you have studying rooms at your university? Just book a room, then write into a forum and invite others ("Who is learning for exam XXX ? We will meet at study room #4 this Friday, 10 AM .. )

This way you will socialize and you will strengthen your social skills.

And of course, you don't need money to do sports! But you should do some sports on a regular basis to get in balance. You cannot learn all time. You brain will overload, you NEED to work out your body to get in balance. And when you are in balance, you will have much more energy for your study.

Also in sports, it is probably better to team up then to do everything alone - and again, take the initiative! For example, invite others for a hiking tour !! How about that ?

You will see, if you take the initiative, this will give a big boost to your self esteem and your social skills.

 

FreeAndStrong - congratulations on your committment. It's not easy, as you can see from so many struggling. And there isn't an easy answer, as you can see from the many conflicting opinions and advice from so many well meaning people.

I've been struggling with chronic relapse for maybe a year, and I've also tried a lot of different techniques. Many seem to be helpful for a while, but ultimately turn out to be "not enough".

Over time I am refining an approach based on all the suggestions and reading available online. At the moment I've gone 14 days, much longer than my usual ~2-3day streaks. Here I'll share what seems to be working:

1- Know that PMO is a problem. If I don't really believe it's harmful, I doubt I can ever stop.

2- Know that it's possible to stop. If I don't believe it's possible, then I can never accomplish it.

3- Know the quitting process well. I have what I feel is a simple (but not easy!) approach that will work if I truly commit to it. (#5-8)

4- Commit to it 100%. Think of all the possible futures which would make me really wish I could still PMO. Be totally ready to give those up. If not, repeat #1.

5- Now watch myself closely. Any time I want to PMO, I look closer to see what things "came together" in order to produce that desire. Maybe I saw someone who reminded me of an ex while I was out shopping, and then let my mind dwell on past experiences. Then I came home to my empty bedroom, which brought up familiar PMO habit energy. Also now I feel lonely, which leads to sadness. The sadness further triggers my PMO habit (since in the past I'd used PMO when feeling sad).

6- Recognize that the desire to PMO is not independent. It has composing aspects, as in the example above. Recognize that some components are out of my control, while others I can influence. Know that by removing enough of the composing elements of my PMO desire, I can prevent it from arising to begin with. Perhaps I could have resisted the desire to dwell on old memories, if I'd realized that it was fueling the growth of mental patterns that would ultimately compose my sadness and lack of control.

7- Recognize that positive mental states (and their resultant behaviors) are likewise composed. By consciously removing the experiences which ultimately compose negative mental states, and replacing them with ones that compose positive states, I can strongly influence how I end up feeling.

8- Know that most of the war is won/lost long before the urge to PMO has become powerful. Understanding the roots, tend my life as if it were a garden. Don't water the weeds, so they won't grow into states of mind that I'd rather not experience. Water the seeds of happiness and self control. Practice all day every day, with love and consideration for myself!

This approach has led me to see many of the reasons why I'd failed in the past. Now instead of sitting at home struggling to resist the temptations which flood my mind, I find myself redirecting that energy to inquiry. What led me to feel this way to begin with? Was it because I spent 3 hours surfing the web earlier, allowing myself to "dance around the edges" of acceptable content? Maybe if I remember how bad it led me to feel, then next time I'll think twice before I "water the weeds"..

I hope this is as helpful to you (and everyone else too!) as it has been for me. Best wishes on your journey.

p.s. Weeds are tricky and sometimes disguise themselves as pretty flowers. Look close, and then look even closer!