watch P but no MO, considered relapse?

I think it should really be avoided. you may not have reacted very noticeably, but if there is nudity in a sex scene, I would call that porn. the arousal doesn't make something porn. I would say don't reset, but don't do it again. but in the end its really up to you.

 

Stay away from that sh*t man

 

I will offer a different opinion. American Pie is an interesting movie, but I am sure you have seen it before and new about the erotic scenes. I would not call them a straight porn.

Important here are your intentions. Why did you watch it? Was it for the eventual explicit scenes? The movie itself is multilayered, it is not just about sex. You say you did not react to the scene. But you describe that only your body did not react, which can mean a good thing just as it can mean a bad thing. You yourself did react, however, otherwise you won't be writing your post in the first place.

Watching such scenes on purpose or during a recovery can be considered something like 'mental edging', it might play with your dopamine and can have a considerable effect on your reboot. Also, it can put you into very high risk of relapsing (if not immediately, then soon or some time after).

Do not actively seek these border scenarios. If I am in the recovery, a decision to go and see a Nymphoniac movie, which is in normal mainstream distribution, is not very smart. On the other side, every now and then we encounter a trigger and we should be able to face it in a healthy way. Closing your eyes, turning blind eye, may be a first aid, but your brain knows very well what is happening. Living healthy life in this world cannot be based on ignorance of reality.

You have plenty of better choices for the 'mood change'. Good luck with sticking to them!

 

Athelas is completely right. Your intentions and reactions completely dictate this potential relapse.

For starters, I have cut out watching rated R films because I know I can potentially see someone naked. Seeing a digital version of a naked girl, to me, is porn.

If you watched it because you wanted to see explicit material, but didnt want to watch internet P, then yes it is a relapse to me. The Porn is the enemy here fellas. Thats what is screwing with the dopamine, and is the addiction were trying to fight. Cut it all out man, or else you will continue to watch these movies, then it will go downhill right back to P.

As for you mood, mine has been up and down since I started this journey. Ive hit patches of depression, but they pass relatively quickly. Just keep pushing my man and it shall pass. Stay strong

 

Few things are better for a mood change than a time spent with a dear friend, or at least a conversation. If you have no such persons around at the moment, try to find an accountability partner. But it should not be only about the mood change.

New hobbies are great, but sometimes they only deepen our current feelings - if I feel melancholic and start playing piano, it might make me even more melancholic. That is not actually a bad thing and is also one way of dealing with the situation. I am not making the problem bigger, I am purifying it, isolating it and leading myself to address it - in one word, I am working on it.

"Mood change" with a movie can work similarly, but often, as it is a passive action, can be a way of escaping the problem - the same mechanism we use porn for. I am not changing the mood, I am numbing it.

When we are passive and feel unmotivated, we still may be able to receive. While you still can, try to experience situation, preferably offline, where you can be a receiver, night out with friends, concert, something new that you have never done before. Try to surround your world with creativity and inspiration - it might not have immediate effect, but over time it will grow on you and you will succumb to it.

If nothing above apply to you, just for a start, check out http://www.postcrossing.com/ - I found getting pen friends and spending time offline trying to surprise and please someone with my imagination as something that helps me beat both - depression as well as porn habit.

Don't let negative moods and depression grow onto you, but also, do not ignore them. They're a sign, that there is an underlying problem. You may not be able to address it immediately, but it helps a lot to be aware of it and to understand it.

With your 6 days clean and 90 days goal you are already doing a far superior job than me. Good luck and thanks for the inspiration you are giving to us, beginners.