Was straight ... became Gay

Stay on this path with semen retention, but counter that with no Porn. You are even more successful then me right now 365 days + of retention. I applaud that to you my friend..

Maybe with that happened to you as a kid may have triggered and arousement hat may have lingered on for a long time. My friend I was situated with woman for the longest time. I had one incident about 4 years ago that changed myself and confused my mind on my outlook. (Ask me in PM if you want to hear more about it.) But now I'm bi curious and I as well get more aroused with the Penis then the woman at times. I feel the next time it wouldn't matter if I have "sex" with a woman just because of the dry spell of intercourse. But also because of myself right now and my addiction I wouldn't last that long..

If you want we could be Accountability Partners. I'm ready to turn this stuff off. I've gone to gay/trans P*** as well and I knew if I told people about this they would either be saying okay if that's what your into or negative.

1. Maybe try to stay clean as long as you can. Going back is neither helping me or you and its taking a step down the latter to square 1.

2. Meditate on your Sacral chakra the door to sexuality, emotions, and self esteem. Meditating on this really helps and it will put you back into balance. I've gotten read before and my Sacral is most prominent. Listen to meditation frequencies on youtube if you have headphones and a laptop. Just start off easy with 15mn and proceed longer when your more comfortable. It may be out of balance right now and causing these self esteem problems with your divorced wife, etc..

3. Continue to fulfill on another relationship. It seems you still have the drive to have a family and wife. For me I'm 28 and I have no desire right now at all after my past let downs.


If you need me as a AC partner I'm hear for you. You seem like a gentleman that know's what he is doing and wants in life. Keep up the streaks and the commitments.

 

There's nothing wrong with being gay, bi, or trans - you should not feel any shame for that! You can't change your attraction or your identity, and accepting yourself for who you are will do a lot of good for your mental health.

That said, if you want to give up PMO, that's great! You'll find a lot of resources and people here who can help you on that journey!

 

Oh man, sorry to hear about your divorce and loss. However life goes on and you can find your new SO and things will go better.

Above its already told everything. Stop watching porn. That's the most important thing. Porn cause all your SSA / gay / sissy thoughts. I know it well by myself. It made me do things i regret. I'm on my way to heal myself and I can confirm what other people say over here. PORN IS THE EVIL and it caused you SSA / PIED etc.

If you want to heal and want to improve your life first thing is to remove porn from your life.

 

There's your problem right there^

You are addicted to porn. That is what you have to sort out. If you can avoid masturbation then you can do no PMO hard mode. You said what you did before was hard mode. It wasn't. I hope you can commit to this and hope for a better life.

 

To coin a phrase, "two out of three ain't bad", lol. Actually, it is a remarkable achievement. Especially when you were feeding your sexual appetite with porn daily and escalating the content of it. If you can resist masturbation while seeing all that, it indicates that you have the capacity to resist porn itself. You cannot reboot your brain unless you stop using porn.

 

that's ok... the thoughts wont go away right away... it fades out slowly.

 

watched porn for like 25 years? started early when found dad's videos collection.

I was not aroused by man, i was aroused by dicks and being penetrated by man. Unfortunately P made me do next step that i highly regret. Dont make my mistake. Its all PORN that makes you do things that are not natural for you. Its PORN that changes your perception and sexual taste. Unless you are gay and you've never liked women.

 

I would just say that the semen retention isn't going to do much for your mental situation if you use porn. You get tons of dopamine just from watching, and it reinforces all of the neural pathways you've built. They won't go away unless you starve them. That process can take up to 2 years from what I've read.

 

My thoughts exactly. No porn must be part of the equation. Daily exposure to those unnatural porn highs can't possible result in the recovery and dopamine receptors being rebooted.

 

That's o.k. It's still a progress and it takes time. But my respects to your selfcontrol - being exposed to porn daily and yet not to act on that. It's a good sign. If you handled that then you have more potential to handle No PMO than many others. You can do this. Cut the porn and slowly even your thoughts and fantasies will follow.