Want to recover fully from PIED

Hi All,

Although I am viewing this site for a long time, but this is my first post on NoFap. I am watching P and M since puberty. I never knew that I am addicted to P and M. I found it perfectly normal as I saw every friend of mine talking about it. I never saw the side effects it was creating on my mind and body.

At the age of 19 I went into a serious relationship. We both were planning for to loose our virginity. So, we fixed a day to do it. But unfortunately our relationship faced some bad time because of her past history with her ex-boyfriend. But still we tried to do it on planned date. But somehow I wasn't able to get erection on that day. I really did not knew the reason that day. But that was a great shock to my mind. I never faced ED while M, but I faced it while having sex. After that I tried so many time but never got the erection. I felt helpless and distressed. I never had alcohol and smoke in my entire life. I always read here and there that these two things also cause ED. I felt like then why I am having this problem. Then, I did it with her some times after taking blue pill. It was good but I felt like it was all because that pill. After sometime I broke up with her. But my addiction to PM was always on top. And the worst thing was, I never knew that I am addicted to PM. I also started facing ED while M. And one more thing, After breakup, I started taking alcohol and ciggrates.

Then in 2017 I came to know about nofap. I checked it. I decided to start my NoFap journey in feb 2018 and targeted for 90 days. I abstain from PMO for 21 days. In those 21 days, my penis was like dead. But one day I failed and I M. But these 21 days gave me new life. Although I watch P and M. But now I was getting 90-100% erection. But again I am in trap of PM cycle. I am getting good erection but now I am feel that I am again doing wrong to me as I did in past. I am watching P and M 2-3 times a week now.

I had seen benefits of PM personally in only 21 days. My confidence level was high. I found myself confident while talking to people and so many more benefits. But now I am again in this trap. Although I have seen improvement in me. But I really want to totally eliminate PM from my life. Right now, it is 7 days I had seen P and M. Now I want to make target of 90 days. I want support from all the fapstronauts to keep me motivated through out this journey. I really don't want to fall back. I want to imbibe discipline in my life through this. I want to control my desires and temptations. I had quite smoking now. But I often drink. Now I again want to become a teetotaller. I want to eat only healthy food and no junk or street food. I really feel a healthy life style is also beneficial for our sexual and mental health. By doing all these, I want to complete my 90 days target.

Thanks,
Dashing Dash