Want a Better Life

Hi Everyone... I'm here as part of an effort to move my life in a positive direction. I have struggled for years with various different addictions, and I'm reaching a point now where it just feels like enough. There has been enough negativity and fear in my life, and it's time for a change.

I have been watching porn for well over 10 years now, and masturbating since I was physically able to. I am very interested in re-focusing my energy into more productive pursuits, and I'm excited to join the community and share in the support.

I have never really done anything of value in my life... I've rarely helped others, and have lived quite selfishly..ensuring that I blame others for my shortcomings on a regular basis. I am a loser. It may sound harsh, but it is the truth. I have no purpose and no direction, and I have been this way for long enough that I don't know the feeling of joy, acheivement, love...these are all just concepts in my mind. Usually I don't feel anything, just an empty void without any awareness...basically a zombie. When I do have emotions they are based mainly in fear, anger, and self-loathing.

This is a total waste of life, and a total waste of potential. I desire to create something amazing in life, something that will have a profound impact in the lives of others. I want life to be Fun, Meaningful, and full of Joy and Compassion. And I want to spread that around to as many people as possible.

I can continue on my old path and die lonely, regretful of a wasted life...or make some changes and create a future of connectedness and love, dying happily in the end...this sounds way better. I hope lots of you are with me, and hope we can help each other along the way.

 

Progressing not at all, but hopeful for the future. I do not like to think of PMO as an enemy, or as anything to be made wrong, but rather as a challenge to grow stronger.