Wanna give something back for this specific sub-section of the forum! Do not give up!

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by mgz069, Jul 11, 2019.

  1. mgz069

    mgz069 Fapstronaut

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    This section has to be the most depressing and sad of this forum.
    I, myself, am single too! But this time it's different. Let me explain below.
    I want to suggest to you guys the following books:
    • The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life
    • Everything Is F*cked: A Book About Hope
    • Models: Attract Women Through Honesty
    Don't worry these are not your average "positive vibes", "pick-up line", "positive attitude" & "how-to & what-to-say" kind of books.. No no..
    Its the exact opposite of that. And really, they calm you down when you absorb the information of the author and his perspective on life, relationships etc.

    I read the 1st and 3rd of the above books and now I'm in the process of listening to their audio books instead! Before getting desperate, do yourself a favor and read these books (or any other if you will).

    Since I started NoFap and read the books, I said "no" to 4 women.
    The 1st we had sex but she is married. Wanted a relationship.
    The 2nd wanted a relationship but was older than me.
    The 3rd is also married and we started going of the rails so we ended it before anything happens.
    The 4th is about my age but too "slutty" for me.
    Don't get me wrong.. I also got a lot of No's from women too!

    What's my point?

    Yes, I may be single at the moment but I had the courage to stop the wrong relationships right at its track. Before NoFap I would go on with these women without second thought. And most probably get in trouble (trust me.. you don't want to get in trouble with married or in-a-relationship women). Now I am single because I chose to.

    I do get sad when I see all my friends with their GFs and wives, but I can't let myself get into a bad relationship just for the sake of it!
     
  2. yourhomieishere

    yourhomieishere Fapstronaut

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    I'm proud of you, saying no to a bad relationship when you've been single for a while is really hard.
     
    mgz069 and Reborn16 like this.
  3. Reborn16

    Reborn16 Fapstronaut

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    Guys @mgz069 is really onto something!

    I read the first book a few times, really helped me let go of trivial worries and live life in the moment.

    Just came across the 2nd book in a store, will read that once I'm done with 'Models'.

    The 3rd book Models, is particularly helpful for us single guys.

    I know I can relate... I will admit it, I used to be quite desperate. I mean, I paid girls to hang out with me. And I was coming to terms with either being single and paying for company, or to settle for a girl I'm not really interested in (both looks and personality). Doomer times my friends...

    Slowly the contents of these books (Models especially), has been absorbed and now I am content with waiting until I am ready to date the girls I want!

    I have rejected a younger cute (but annoying and slightly overweight) woman. I stopped pursuing two older women because it didn't make total sense when I asked myself if I was honestly interested. Also went to a speed dating event, got some matches but decided the connection wasn't really there and didn't want to waste their time or mine.

    And I no longer feel jealous of my friends who are in relationships. I can see that some of them are accepting a compromise (dating older women with kids for example). And I feel happy for the few who haven't compromised and obviously want to be with their partner!

    Right now, I am waiting to get through a few months clean.

    I'm getting to the point of that book where the approach and communication chapters are... Looking forward to that!

    Really this hits home for me. As the No.1 reason for my relapses in the past has been because I didn't see a realistic way to meet and attract women I was interested in.

    I've spent hundreds of dollars on 'pick up artist' videos in the past... And yes I did try the stuff out. Already, the ideas in this book are getting me better interactions with women.

    Didn't mean to post all this text - but just want to show there is hope.

    TLDR: I used to pay girls to go on a date, now I can be myself and attract girls who are interested in me, and I welcome rejection going either way because it's better to not waste time when it won't work anyway.
     
    mgz069 likes this.
  4. mgz069

    mgz069 Fapstronaut

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    I am glad that you embrace my opinion!
    I forgot to add something important:
    About 6 before starting NoFap i broke up with my gf of around 3 months..
    The thing is, though, that I was so weak that I could not see how trash she was and that she was basically talking with another guy while we were together. Instead of standing my ground and breaking up with her, I kept on going despite not feeling well. I did not have the courage to end it. I was afraid to lose her and I gradually lost my dignity. I was not man enough!
    Soon after it ended badly. She broke up with me and a few months later I found out that indeed she was dating this other guy!
    Back then I could not reject any woman!
    But after NoFap I was able to do it more than once.
    I owe this to NoFap.
     
    Reborn16 likes this.
  5. Ha! Indeed.

    Anyways, thanks for book recommendations, sounds interesting. I have added them to my reading list.
     
    mgz069 likes this.
  6. Reborn16

    Reborn16 Fapstronaut

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    I know that feeling man, it's as if the relationship or date or whatever is too precious to consider giving up.

    Perhaps when we get the strength to reject instant gratification in pmo, we find other things easier to hold our ground on in the same way?

    I'm not sure if Mark Manson mentions abstaining from porn or masturbation anywhere, but agreed it has to be a fundamental part of going from a place of desperation to a place of calm and abundance.
     
    mgz069 likes this.
  7. mgz069

    mgz069 Fapstronaut

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    It's like when you are PMOing your brain is making compromises just to ejaculate! You become a slave to the ejaculation thus making you a push-around kind of person towards women. You loose your personality and dignity in order to get your "dose". And now that I look back indeed that relationship was revolved around sex.
    Mark Manson does mention about porn a bit but doesn't develop the subject and the whole nofap lifestyle.
     

    Attached Files:

    Reborn16 likes this.
  8. Reborn16

    Reborn16 Fapstronaut

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    Push-around is it really. And yes if we put too much emphasis on ejaculation then I think manipulating women can use that.

    I hope other guys take note and give this information a go... I was going around in circles for years trying to attract women while still not working on myself first.

    And I remember reading that bit now! I guess for many guys porn use is just recreational, but still takes away motivation to weather rejection and meet women.
     
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