Used to See PMO As a "Spiritual Practice"

Here's a weird way I used to view my masturbating to pornography. I used to see it as a kind of spiritual practice, like meditating. The pleasure, the ecstasy, the almost "higher plane of existence" feeling. That's part of why I miss it. I guess that's what sex could be. And I started to feel bad that I never experienced that with another person, only by myself. What an empty "spiritual practice" if you're not sharing it with another person. How lonely is that

 

I used to view it as the cure to depression, my mom used to tell me how depressed people were, all these people killing themselves, my answer was to just masturbate and all your problems go away, little did i know this mentality was very messed up and totally wrong.

 

Yeah I've thought that way before too, weird how our brain tricks us in to thinking these things

 

I think for me it was just ignorance, i never viewed porn as bad back than because my mom would always tell me its fine and everyone does it, never tell your kids lies to spare their feelings.

 

Wow really your mom would tell you porn is OK?

 

She was also ignorant on how bad it was.

 

Ah yeah my parents knew I was using it too, and if they had a clue how much worse internet porn is, they probably would have, or should have, intervened

 

Goddammit, this, my own thread, triggered me last night to masturbate (without porn). I was thinking about this again, how PMO/sex could/can be a "spiritual practice", and thought "sure go for it!". My desire for porn was there though. OK so nevermind, let me purge all thought from my mind that sex in any form whatsoever can be a "spiritual practice", that's too triggering for me. If a "spiritual practice" is what I want, then let it be something other than sex. Fuckin' A

 

Self-sabotage. That is normal for us humans That's why we do porn in general.

 

I used to delude myself thinking all of my problems were gone when I PMO’d but that was only on the surface. Little did I know at the time that I was creating one huge underlying problem in the process