Update and Introduction to myself.

I guess I should start off with my reason for starting this journey. I've been exposed to porn from a young age and have been using it heavily for the past 4 years.

I have began watching more darker and disturbing content for the past year to keep things new and exciting. After all this time soft porn just doesn't work anymore. I feel the cravings start in my stomach, my hands start to sweat, my heartbeat increases and my mind fills with sexual images. I rush to my laptop. I scroll through countless porn sites to find the right video. I find it. I reach orgasm.

Then a wave of guilt washes over me. Is this really who I am? Is this what I am into? Am I perverted? I couldn't bare someone to know about this dark habit I hide.

Then the negativity / depression comes. "you're such a piece of shit" "You're dirty" "you will never overcome this" "this is who you're" I think we all know the type of thoughts I am talking about.

I realised I had to make a change about 6 months ago. It has been tough. My longest strike had been a week and I have never felt so good in my life. I am determined to beat this. Porn truly is a addiction. I felt so good 7 days in and I couldn't get it off my mind. The urges were so strong it overwhelmed me.

If you're reading this and you're struggling. Please remember you're not alone. It is hard. It is painful. you fail over and over again. but I truly believe we humans are capable at beating what ever we choose.

Many before us have achieved a porn free life and together we will too. I am putting this post out there for anyone reading to know. My inbox is always open and I welcome anyone who wants to talk about anything without judgement.

Stay strong brothers and sisters.

 

Thanks for the replys my guys, I am very determined to beat this, with the virus and staying at home for 2 weeks I have been using porn regularly. I am now realising this is the perfect time to tackle this; Yesterday I started my streak again. I really believe this one will be the one to break it, I am going to keep myself active on the forums to keep myself busy when I have urges, I feel it takes a lot of courage to speak out loud on this topic so I have mad respect for everyone on this forum