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Unknowingly rebooted?

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by CasualMe95, Jun 14, 2014.

  1. Jun 14, 2014 #1
    CasualMe95

    CasualMe95 Guest

    So, yesterday I relapsed...or should I say relapsed?
    Well I watched porn and fetishes etc. And what do I think of porn? I dont mind it. I dont mind watching it. But whenever I do watch it it becomes uninteresting within seconds and I get strong feelings that I rather have real sex than seeing someone unknown doing it on camera. So I graduated from school this Wednesday and it was crazy! were out partying all night and my friends had a one night stand and I were so uninterested that I just ignored the whole thing. Well I started ignoring it because it just was uninteresting watching them doing it. I rather did it myself.

    Today I got strong urges again (probably from the chaser effect from yesterdays porn). Even tho I slept alright and I didn't get the annoying thoughts I usually do when I am about to wake up in the morning...sex, boner etc.
    But today I MO and I didn't do it infront of my computer but in my bathroom without any porn or fetishes or thoughts. I just focused on enjoying myself and discovering what I like.
    And I dont know how much time it took but it felt absolutely amazing, real and I somehow feel like I got to know myself a little bit better and came in contact with myself a little bit better.

    Bottom line is that I was able to orgasm today even tho I watched porn yesterday.

    So I dont really know how to conclude this.
    Rebooted, still at the very beginning of my progress, relapsed?
     
    CasualMe95, Jun 14, 2014
    CasualMe95, Jun 14, 2014
    #1
  2. Jun 14, 2014 #2
    Ekhangel

    Ekhangel Fapstronaut

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    I too, after doing my "test relapse" (on day 90), felt okay for two or three days. Then my moods began to drop for no reason and I had many urges, including reoccurence of unwanted fantasies about my exgf (that treacherous bitch!) - also with wet dreams about her (such as this night). All this was already gotten rid of in the course of the 90 day abstinence, and has returned after the relapse.

    I must here say that to me the memories of my exgf's body are more of a trigger and "dangerous stimulus" than any porn, and it is wanking to fantasies that I would relapse with, RATHER than porn. So dreams about her and haunting memories are my indicative of being in a lousy condition.

    So, my advice for you would be - paradoxically - to keep on wanking. If you fit into my own pattern, you will go on masturbating without fantasies for a little more and then will feel the urge to get on some fantasies. After a little while you'll feel this is already insufficient (the desensitization pattern - see: Coolidge Effect) and you'll get back to porn, along with all the guilt and messed up hormonal levels.

    After that, you'll know from your very experience how detrimental ANY form of masturbation is to you.

    If you progress otherwise, let us know.
     
    Ekhangel, Jun 14, 2014
    Ekhangel, Jun 14, 2014
    #2
  3. Jun 14, 2014 #3
    CasualMe95

    CasualMe95 Guest

    Sounds like shit. But yea I'll test it.
    Not sure tho if it is my body that is actually craving for real sex because its been a while since last time.

    But I'll keep you updated.
     
    CasualMe95, Jun 14, 2014
    CasualMe95, Jun 14, 2014
    #3

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