Two cents from married guy

I'm back, rebooting again. But after I quit my first time...things really did improve for me.

Guys, don't worry about sex so much. Don't worry about your performance, don't worry about any of that.

Worry about learning to pick a good lifelong partner that completes you. There are so many more aspects to a relationship.

When I met my wife, I was picky. Picky about her 'credentials'. The fact she grew up in a stable home, and worked a carrier. The fact she didn't do drugs or party. Sure you might want someone 'fun' now but in your thirties...trust me you don't! You want someone responsible, especially financially. Be picky, and find someone that you know will lift you up.

One thing that helped me tremendously was early communication. No, don't tell her your life story on your first date. In our third date, I asked her about sex and how she thought about us waiting to approach it for a couple of months...and I asked her for honest in return. And...we got to actually date. I got to know her and grow increasingly comfortable. When sex came...it was no big deal. None at all. If you're new to it, she might find it a little endearing if you lean into being a little nervous. You probably won't though...when I was ready to be with a partner though, my reboot had given me so much confidence that things went even better than I had expected.

Relax, don't focus on sex as a goal. That's your porn addicted brain talking. Focus on just being with someone...on dating and truly knowing them.