Trouble seeing women in a functional way after years of 'P' addiction - potential trigger warning.

Hello all,
Like many of you I am currently attempting to recover/abstain from addiction to pornography – I have many reasons for this, and have been finding my life significantly improved since taking these steps (even though I've yet to make it past 5 days, I've made leaps and bounds since starting).

One of the issues I seem to come across which sometimes leads to relapse is I guess a sense of seeing women in the real world, with their normal conversations, normal clothes, normal boundaries etc and then having invasive thoughts about what I've seen in the porn I used to watch.
Women doing truly base and vulgar things, with smiles on their faces: Positions that leave nothing to the imagination, situations that no one in their right mind would bring up in normal conversations, sex partners that boggle the mind (beautiful women having sex with old men, ugly men, multiple men, animals, you name it).

I guess then, this creates a false perception that when in normal/functional conversation, there is a distance from some kind of 'truth' (I know what people/women are capable of) and reality (we're all modest, clean and functional) - which then somehow draws me back to the world of porn. Almost as if the depraved version of the world on screen is somehow more real than the more 'covered up' world of the every day.

I def expect some comments along the lines of 'touch grass' or 'incel', and I understand this - the way i'm thinking is inherently dysfunctional, but rather than just push it down I also want to explore the experience with other people who might have had similar experiences and hopefully some who have resolved this discrepancy.

I also understand that women can and do have pretty wild sexual desires/lives just as men do and I don't mean to other them...I think it's more so the difference between what is said/acknowledged and what I have seen people capable of. Particularly as society as a whole imposes a kind of need for women to seem more moral/virtuous and thus private about their sexuality – again it kind of makes the every day seem somehow more unrealistic than the world of porn, even if the latter is hyper-focused on just one aspect of truth.

It's almost like what sometimes drives the addiction is a fascination with the taboo/unsaid – something which then makes it difficult to see women being normal humans without invasive thoughts along the lines of "I wonder if you've ever..." or "I bet you've been in this position" etc. These thoughts not only disconnect me from real/authentic encounters but also draw me back into pornography.

Anyway - apologies for a potentially disjointed post here – I'm figuring out these thoughts as I'm writing!

Thanks in advance for reading!