Tried so many times. I know what my triggers are. THEN WHY DO I KEEP FAILING

You've set a framework for yourself and you keep failing by your own standards. That gives you loser-syndrome. Symptoms are depression, loss of motivation, beating oneself up over small things, general sadness. You allow yourself to have those feelings and you deny yourself happiness right now.

That is ok up to a certain point. Because we use sense of failure and sense of success to tune our body and mind to walk towards our goals. But if you fail for too long that mechanism becomes faulty. So you need to allow yourself to get out of that depression if you want things to be better. Even if a part of you thinks you don't deserve to.

The reason why you relapse and touch yourself in general has two main reasons.
1. You don't set clear rules for yourself that you can stick to. For example if you just tell yourself "No more PMO" you can go like "well what about edging, technically I'm not cuming, I'm just playing a bit". You need to close ALL the loopholes when you set up your rules. No touching of the dick period when there's porn, no HFO either!
2. You have unconscious and irrational attachments to porn that keep you literally spell-bound. It doesn't matter how many times you make bad experiences with porn, because ultimately you still deeply believe that it's worth it. You perceive it like magic, as soon as you think of porn you pretend that it's so powerful that you "have to" go look at it. And as soon as you see it you take the arousal you feel as confirmation that the magic works and the show goes on. You're playing a game with yourself, but the problem is you can't just stop it because you've trained it for so long that you believe in it unconsciously. So as long as you don't realize the full extend of your relationship with porn, as long as there is an element of mystery and novelty, you won't get tired of it. But you need to get tired of it. You have to become bored by it. B.o.r.e.d.

Play it through when your brain comes up with another urge to PMO. "So what I'm gonna open a private browser, I'm gonna waste 5-40minutes scanning through porn sites and while I'm searching I have to subject myself to hundreds of ugly naked people doing filthy things, just to find that one video that turns me on, then I'll jack off, maybe it feels great, maybe just ok, then I cum, then I have to clean myself and then I feel like shit. AGAIN. Do I really want that? Am I not relieved that I don't have to do that?" And your brain won't just accept that, it will keep bombarding you with hot images, until you give in, because you don't actually want to quit yet. But if you do that enough times at some point you'll "go fuck this." and you'll stop. When you're actually bored that's when you make progress.

We only drop the toys that aren't fun. We don't care if they hurt us. All that matters is whether they're fun or not. You have to actively and consciously push porn towards "this isn't as fun as I used to think", by setting up rules, by fucking real women, by keeping yourself busy even after work, by dissing porn.

 

Ive been there and i know how much that feeling sucks, especially when its happening over and over again and i remember when i told myself "i wont be here ever again" and you are probabbly in that position now, just watch this and i am sure it will help you

https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/watch-this-if-youre-struggling.232140/