Tips for combating PE

Thanks for sharing your struggles, Haggis. It's brave of you to lay it out like that - so well done!

From what I know of PE (a close friend struggled with it), its usually a psychological issue, rather than anything to do with your equipment - as you've already cottoned on to. Perhaps in response to the period of ED you faced.

I imagine sex holds a lot of uncertainty for you every time, with lots of questions and anxieties around your performance, previous issues and her experience to detract from losing yourself in the moment and enjoying the intimacy.

My friend overcame his PE by extended foreplay - which I know sounds backwards - but I can see how that would work. By enjoying just holding an erection and being intimate with your partner before actually having sex, and actually enjoying the whole experience, instead of questioning yourself. Let the love making follow naturally.

I wish you all the best, and hope you resolve the issue. Keep us posted!

 

@Haggis!

Hey bro. hope you both are fine and doing fantastic on all aspects of your life.

Yes, I too thought about that a lot,I'm still virgin.And you know this is a problem in our heads again.If there is no physical problem in your P(and its certainly not as you are regular on S) part then there is nothing to worry at all.When i used to M i used to think like exactly the same way as you wrote here.Read a lot nonsense stuff on internet and i say all is a real bullshit don't believe on that never.It has to do a lot on-performance anxiety,common anxiety.And yes I too checked the time to ejaculate like a real nonsense and it would be like 3-4 minutes max while M.But it's the way we have trained our brains and ejaculatory system as whenever we(specially me) did it,we stroked it fast,we wanted to get to that point quickly.So its again like training ourselves on a wrong note as we did our brain-body while doing PMO.

So just relax brother,keep these thoughts out of your mind.And it affects only if we think that its affecting in our mutual intimacy.So relax.When you both indulge just keep things simple,don't be too fast(its like rewiring/retraining our system for longer time) and enjoy the feel with your wife.I think she is a supportive one and she understands these things as well.And please don't read another such stuff from internet as they are all really confusing and helpless.We all have experienced this.

Some sort of meditation like breathing exercises,physical activities will help you a lot it this stuff.Condoms will help as well(my married friends have told that it helps!).And reduce the frequency of S(well its just a suggestion as it has helped them as well,I'm not forcing you guys) for a while and whenever you attempt keep yourself calm and connect to her,see into her eyes,bottom line is-stay in the play together then things will improve for sure.Foreplay helps a lot to satisfy them and as get orgasm early then them as in general terms.Learn,ask her the other areas that is sensual for her,explore the essence of touch and staying connected throughout(well I'm not any sexpert but this is what required in a real intimate affectionate S). And again its a slow process ,so have patience and keep hitting.

Hope you'll overcome on this as well.And when i'll get married I'll ask and take suggestions from you brother.So stay there and improve.It's Simple!

God bless you both!

 

I don't think I suffer particularly from PE, but I do care greatly that my wife and I climax together so I've developed several techniques for delaying O during sex over the years.

(1) one-sided foreplay - I tell my wife to give me a break if I feel I'm getting too far along, so focus then goes just on her
(2) pause & moderate speed - when you get too close, pause for a few seconds, this breather ratchets you down quite a bit - 2-3 seconds pause can give you 20 seconds more of 'go' time, when I get going again I go more slowly
(3) breathing - again, when close, breathe fast in and slow out - this has a remarkable delaying effect
(4) looking away - good if all the start-stopping is affecting the 'groove': looking away seems to slow down the intensity (we're visual creatures after all)
(5) distraction - e.g. biting lip - this is a bit of a weird one, but I found that by biting my lip it distracted my brain from what was going on, which gives me more time.
(6) distraction - thoughts - this might sound bizarre but sometimes I imagine a piece of garden furniture that's floating and rotating

Obviously, you have to be mindful of just how close you are getting to O, so that you can try the delaying measures. Sadly, I suspect those of us used to edging should be familiar with this feeling.

I have some more, but describing them would use potentially triggering language, so if interested I could PM them to you.