Dear follow Fapstronauts, I am a 28 years male who has been fapping for about 15 years and I only recently realized that it has been negatively affecting my life. For that reason I have joined this community and I would like to introduce myself and tell you a bit about how I got to where I am today... I first came across some porn magazines when I discovered my dad's porn collection (who I am sure would benefit from this site as well) at the age of 10-11. I found the magazines extremely fascinating and remember spending a lot of time going through them (there was a lot ). Shortly after came my first VHS porn movies (again from my dad's collection) which I occasionally watched when my parent's weren't at home. At around that time I remember experiencing an orgasm for the first time and from that day I was completely hooked. As the time went by, computers started making their way to people's homes and my 2 years older cousin introduced me to a porn in a digital form. At that time it was very popular to burn movies onto CDs and porn was no exception. My cousin was about 15 years old, so he had a pretty good collection, which he was very happy to make me a copy of when I asked. From there more and more people around me started watching porn and everyone was trying to get the best porn that was available...it kind of turned into a competition. From there, computers started getting faster and Internet started taking over. After about two years of fapping to porn on CDs and DVDs, I came across a site that had a huge gallery of free XXX photos and videos. They weren't exactly the best quality since you had to pay for most porn at that time, but they still did its job. Fast-forward a few years ahead and porn on the Internet just exploded. It was absolutely everywhere and it was for free. From there I started to watch porn more often and started to seek more hardcore/unique porn. The porn I used to watch wasn't doing it for me any longer and PMO became an item on my everyday's agenda. Especially when I was under stress or had to do something important. I was quite often using it as a tool to procrastinate and release the stress. This was all happening while I was in a number of long term relationships. The affect of PMO on my relationships is difficult to measure since all my relationships happened while I doing it already. I always noticed that it took me a while to ejaculate, however in recent years it was getting harder and harder. I often had to fantasize about my favorite porn scene during intercourse. Even though I had the most amazing sex with a very beautiful girl, I was not able to finish unless I tried really hard and fantasized about porn. I often wrongly associated this with alcohol and number of other theories. I am sure that alcohol played some role in certain situations, however it was not explaining why I had problems when I wasn't drunk. Then about a year ago, I came across NoFap group on reddit and it got me thinking. I read a few discussions, talked about it with a couple of friends in a pub but never really tried the challenge. Well, I actually tried to PMO less since I was more aware of it but it never stopped me from doing it. Recently, I got into a new relationship which I believe can last and I feel like my sex life is definitely affected by porn - DE is getting worse and it is becoming quite frustrating. At the same time I have been progressing quite well in my career which comes with a lot of additional stress. That has resulted in even more frequent PMOing which only made me feels worse about everything. For that reason I have decided to give a NoFap challenge a go. I have never really talked about this with anyone apart from the occasional joke in the pub so I feel like my only option is the PM-method since I am not sure if I can/should tell my girlfriend about it (any advice?). Since I am not going to be having sex with her that often (due to my work commitments for the next couple of months), I would say once or twice a week so I am hoping that this method will be effective for me. Do you guys have experience with PM-method in such situations? So, I have decided to do the 3 months challenge and I am currently in my second week So far, I only had a couple of urges since I am keeping myself busy with work, however I was very close to resetting today so I guess I am looking for some support here so I don't have to start the process all over again... Thank you guys for reading and please say hello as it will be greatly appreciated. Good luck to you all! -romeo848
Welcome aboard! I too have been using porn from a very early age and am 27 years old. Porn was how I learned about sexuality, informed my views of female sexuality, and wrecked me as far as relationships go. There would always be a honeymoon period where my significant other was enough and I wouldn't PMO for a long time, and when I did MO it was to memories of what we had done together. But there was always a point where the newness wore off, usually after a few months, and then I was back on the PMO bandwagon. I never thought it negatively affected my relationships until the last year or so when I became a Christian and looked at a lot in my life with some brutal honesty. I did everything you just described, and still do sometimes. Fantasizing about porn during sex, taking a long time to ejaculate without being drunk, heck I used to think that without porn I would perform worse in bed! I was obviously quite wrong. It's a struggle. Beware the urge to look but not touch (yourself, I mean). That's a big hurdle for myself and others. As for the amount of sex you will be having, I'm married so I'm never going to try hardmode. If you feel that's what you need, your girlfriend should understand. If you're comfortable in your relationship then you should be able to tell her about this. It could be tough if you'd rather hold this back. It's all up to you though, my wife has known since day 1 of our relationship, back when I didn't think my porn use was a problem. Every relationship is different but I find that honesty is always better than hiding. All that said, for most people I don't think hardmode is necessary to kick a porn habit, but I'm no expert. My longest streak was 70 days, 25 without looking at porn or subs at all. During those weeks my relationship (and relations ) with my wife was amazing. Anyways, it's a struggle, as you can see from my counters. Find better things to do with your time when the urge kicks in. If you have a lot of time alone to yourself, try to get out of the house or do something at home that requires all of your attention. The urge will pass if you don't indulge it. Good luck!
