Three levels of change

This idea originally came from a now-defunct blog called Quitporngetgirls.com, which you still might be able to find with the web archive.

Basically, there are three levels that can be made in your life. The three are Situational, Techniques, and Total Life Change. I'll explain the three levels below.

Level 1
Level 1 is in the realm of Situational change. It happens when we decide there is a particular aspect of our lives we want to change, then we take the time to make that change, and when we've made that change, we go on with our lives. A good example of this is a guy who decides he wants to do lose some weight for one reason or another. He goes on a diet, loses the weight over the course of weeks or months, then goes on with life as normal. A reboot or a nofap "challenge" constitutes a Level One change.

Level 2
Level 2 is in the realm of techniques. This is where you decide to apply certain techiniques and things you've learned into your life on an on-going basis. A good example is the guy who lost the weight at Level One decides he likes how eating cleaner and doing regular exercise makes him feel, so he decides to continue doing those things to advance his life. If you take the self-control or discipline techniques you learned in a nofap "challenge" and continue to apply them to your life on an ongoing basis, this is a Level Two change.

Level 3
Level 3 is a total change to your life, to the extent that you actually come out of this as a different person. The guy in the examples above now decides that having lost some weight and started to exercise regularly, he wants to take the next step. He's now going to live the rest of his life as a healthier person. If you decide to expand the self-control and discipline techniques you learn in nofap and decide to apply them to your life, with the aim of becoming a more disciplined, mentally tougher person who is not led around by their dick (my goal for 2019 incidentally), that is a Level Three change.

So which Level is best?
The answer is, "it depends". You need to decide which problem you want to solve and what you're trying to achieve overall. There are guys on this forum with Level 1 problems trying to apply Level 3 solutions and vice versa. For example, you might be a guy trying to meet women, so you decide to quit porn, hit the gym and get fit, read lots of books and meditate daily. These are all great habits, but if your only means to meet women is online dating (which is 80-95% men) then you need to find another place to meet women - Level One stuff.

Conversely, if you've been addicted to porn and excessive masturbation for years, a Level One solution such as completing a nofap "challenge" probably isn't going to fix your problem. You need techniques to stay off porn long term, and maybe a total change to the person who fell into porn addiction in the first place - Levels Two and Three.

My own experience with the three levels
At school I was never athletic by any stretch of the imagination. In fact, I finished last in just about everything. Skinny, weak, uncoordinated, my role on the team was to make everyone else feel good about themselves when they were compared with me. Hey, the 80s was time of great uncertainty with the Cold War and the like, but me finishing last in any sporting contest was the one certainty in people's lives.

The thing was, I didn't particularly enjoy living like that or the constant ridicule it attracted. I got my break when my friends in the town I lived in decided that I needed to learn to ride a bike (I was 11 at the time and couldn't do it), and they persevered with me until I learned the new skill. Eventually I managed to do it, and we could all go places together, and I started to get fitter. It was the greatest feeling of my life to date. Level One Unlocked.

My parents responded to my newfound ability by deciding we should move away from that town, to a place where I found it difficult to make friends. Just as I was getting on my feet there, they decided to move again. Again it took me a while to find my feet. However, eventually I met friends who were the equal of the friends I had in a previous town. We did lots of things together. By this time I was 15-16. We played cricket, we played cards, we rode our bikes (in fact, growing up poor my bike was my only way of getting around). Unfortunately, one of the things we did together was watch porn, but at that time the positives far outweighed the negatives. I decided that this bike riding was something I could persevere with for the rest of my life. Level Two Unlocked.

A bit later on I moved again. This time to a place I might have better chances of finding a job. It was also the first time I'd lived in a city, and soon I was missing the country. Fortunately for me, I still had the bike, so I could go and explore. I did encounter a couple of problems. Firstly I was now living in a warmer climate which didn't help my athletic ability at all. Secondly, to get to these places, I had to literally climb mountains. I realised I needed to be fitter and healthier, then I could really get the most out of this.

I started training harder than I ever had before, and eating better. I made a commitment to live as a healthier person for the rest of my life. Since then, I have cycled across Europe, through various countries in Asia, different parts of Australia and New Zealand, and over mountains that I wouldn't have imagined myself climbing when I was younger. I've been to places that I didn't even know existed, and all because I made a choice to live as a physically healthier individual. Level Three Unlocked.

Man, just writing that was some sheer motivation and confidence there. I hope it helps others as much as it just helped me. Having proven to myself that I was capable of change in the past (and just reminded myself), I intend to spend 2019 looking for ways I can make Level 1, 2 and 3 changes to my life. It will start with kicking porn out of my life, and end with me transforming into a person who is not led around by my dick or my sex drive. I can't wait to get started in 2019. In fact, I'm going to go to bed early tonight (December 31), just so I can pass the time between now and then a little quicker.

What Level 1, 2 and 3 changes will you make to your life in the next year?