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This is probably a relapse but ...

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by RdrMGK69, Nov 18, 2015.

  1. Nov 18, 2015 #1
    RdrMGK69

    RdrMGK69 Fapstronaut

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    So I realize I have a huge porn problem. When I signed on it was mainly at the recommendation of my parish priest. He understands my struggle and gets it well. My struggle is with PMO. I created the account to struggle at least "moreso" with the M part I guess while struggling with P. I realize also that Craigslist is a huge trigger for me. The whole time I have been on Nofap i did not look at "real" porn and maybe I am justifying myself (or lying to myself) in thinking that bc i didnt look at "real" porn, I am ok. I read through a few ads last night that, of course, have nude pictures in them. They werent so bad to cause me to PMO but I did look at them. Is this enough to reset a counter or no? Usually I end up doing all three, PMO but i just loooked. any thoughts? Im really disappointed in myself but am beyond horny and also have no real outlet and wont either in the future.
     
    RdrMGK69, Nov 18, 2015
    RdrMGK69, Nov 18, 2015
    #1
    zero01 likes this.
  2. Nov 18, 2015 #2
    JoeinUSA

    JoeinUSA Fapstronaut

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    I understand, guy, and CL has been a hazard for me, too, even if I'm just peeking there. What does CL represent to you? Have you actually met guys from CL in the past? If so, then I think CL can be equal or worse than porn, since it can evoke acting out - and at least you're fantasizing about acting out. Regardless of these questions, too, this behavior will never ultimately be sustainable for your recovery. That's the truth of it, too. While the nude picture(s) can qualify as porn, especially if you indulged them, you are also playing around with dangerous Triggers, which some guys set as a Psub counter or Trigger counter, if purposefully entered into. If you can safely give yourself the benefit of the doubt this one last time because of your perhaps "lack of clarity" on the matter here, well you are now on notice for how serious this really is and that you'd probably need to reset next time. Beware, too, guy that when you engage in these triggers, you are allowing your shields/defences against addiction to weaken, so you are somewhat vulnerable right now - you can't keep taking such hits without slipping back into relapse. You need to get stronger again now, and be thankful you did not fully relapse this time.
     
    JoeinUSA, Nov 18, 2015
    JoeinUSA, Nov 18, 2015
    #2
    RdrMGK69 likes this.
  3. Nov 18, 2015 #3
    RdrMGK69

    RdrMGK69 Fapstronaut

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    Thank you Joe. I have never hooked up with anyone from CL. I do admit I have responded to ads and even met people for a beer and clarified that that was ALL that was going to happen. I didnt M or O to it or even really touch myself. But did enjoy the pics. I do feel my guard has been let down so that is a good alert for me. I didnt mentally imagine being with anyone either. Just really looked at the pics and read the ads. sometimes the posts themselves are trigger enough without the pics.
     
    RdrMGK69, Nov 18, 2015
    RdrMGK69, Nov 18, 2015
    #3
    zero01 likes this.
  4. Nov 18, 2015 #4
    RdrMGK69

    RdrMGK69 Fapstronaut

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    I know I know. I didnt though. Why am i sooo horny now
     
    RdrMGK69, Nov 18, 2015
    RdrMGK69, Nov 18, 2015
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    zero01 likes this.
  5. Nov 19, 2015 #5
    RdrMGK69

    RdrMGK69 Fapstronaut

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    Thank you so much buddy. YOu are right! I need to get back on the swing of things and delete these thoughts. The problem is the CL came AFTER the thoughts, not before. I still feel I have a little progress but not where I was before. I may need to specify also no Psubs too.
     
    RdrMGK69, Nov 19, 2015
    RdrMGK69, Nov 19, 2015
    #5
  6. Nov 25, 2015 #6
    coolman0101

    coolman0101 Guest

    Craiglist also has pornographic scenes in the adult section and that why I avoid it at all costs and also the written content is a major trigger too. I highly recommend you to install a filter where the internet will block out adult sections such as craiglist.
     
    coolman0101, Nov 25, 2015
    coolman0101, Nov 25, 2015
    #6

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