This is fucked up... I'm going crazy?

What exactly is your concern?

 

Ah ok I get it. You are too hard on yourself friend. NOFAP is more then just reaching 90 days and avoiding PMO, it's a lifestyle. Do not worry about what is a relapse and what is not, focus on avoiding porn and do not worry about the rest.

 

It's natural for men to look at women, however, learn to control yourself and become self-aware when you catch yourself doing it. You must learn to view people as people and not sexual objects, this takes time and practice. The next time you catch yourself looking, avert your gaze and keep moving, if you do this enough it will become natural. Do not become mad at yourself and irritated, the journey of 1000 miles takes time, but it will eventually reach an end.

 

I will echo what others have said just to reinforce the point. What you're experiencing is natural. Forget about analyzing every little thought. It's too hard and brain consuming to live life that way. Simply accept the thoughts you were feeling and move on. Don't ignore them. Acknowledge how they made you feel and move on. The over analysis is too much. It will create unnecessary anxiety and take you at of the moment.

Keep moving forward bro! Wishing you the best!

 

Looking at women in real life is not a relapse, but it can lead to sexual thoughts and urges, that can then lead to a relapse later. It's a tightrope you have to walk, unless you plan on never leaving the house ever again.

Having said that I think you're overreacting just a tad. Looking at women and thinking about them in a sexual way is perfectly normal and healthy. It's good that you can do this in fact - some addicts are so far gone real life women have no effect on them. But it's important not to become perverted about it, or let it consume you. Just acknowledge what you're looking at, and look away. No need to beat yourself up over it.

 

I second what everyone else is saying in this thread: you're being too hard on yourself. Being sexual and observing isn't a relapse, it's normal behavior. Do your best to stay away from porn, and don't be too hard on yourself for slipping up if it happens. We're all human after all

 

As I mentioned in a previous thread of yours, you must calm down and rationally consider things. My mind also likes to make something innocent seem filthy, however, I do not let it bother me and I move on with my day. The truth is no one here can fix you, that is something you must be willing to do for yourself.

 

I have so many triggers that put things in my head and if every time I had an impure thought was a relapse, I wouldn't last a day

 

At this point dude I think your problem isn't so much PMO as it is anxiety. You're getting worried over nothing. PMO is a relapse. Or maybe PM. Nothing else is a relapse. I of course strongly recommend that you try to curb sexual thoughts and fantasy but actually having them is not the same as acting on them.

 

If you can, try some therapy. My anxiety use to be through the roof, so I know that feeling is awful. There are tools that therapists can give you that really do help. With enough time and effort, my anxiety began to take a backseat.

Also, let yourself feel these things. We are human, and these emotions are all normal. It is ok to feel anxious even though it feels so terrible in the moment.

Good luck.

 

That was not a relapse.

I highly recommend you to indulge in new hobbies and learn new skills to keep your mind occupied. Also, have you seen a therapist for your anxiety?

 

Avoid looking in the direction of their private parts. If it is too much you can gaze away in the opposite direction.