There's nothing good in my life to stop using porn for

Motivation isn't a spark of electricity that strikes you and magically gives you energy and determination. It is the reason you give yourself to work instead of rest. The reason to choose suffering against inmediate pleasure.

In the end, it is all about what you do.
When i'm tired or feeling lazy, obviously i don't want to study. And when i'm feeling horny, i definitively want to watch porn and masturbate. But i remember my motivation, my meaning in going against my "impulses". And that doesn't suddenly boost my willpower or decrease the temptations intensity (maybe a little). It just give me a reason to resist. Nothing else.

No one can give you a motive strong enough to quit your adictions. Only you can give your effort a meaning. But again, that motivation, no matter how strong it is, won't take away the pain of quitting. It will only give it a meaning, a reason to endure it.

When you quit a bad habit, you have extra energy and time, so you have to redirect that resources into developing new habits, that will replace the bad ones. Having extra time and energy will only lead to relapsing.
Read, go for a walk, exercise, meditate, learn to cook healthy, reduce your internet consumption... anything, that will replace the bad ones.

Don't drown in self-pity, not because you don't deserve it, but because that way of thinking isn't useful at all.

Work hard.

Good luck.

 

That feeling is ur addiction trying to call u back.. Im gonna be honest friend from what ive gathered from reading your post your road to recovery isnt gna be fun.. Sounds like youve been im this unhealthy cycle for awhile and you trying to stope them and create healthier ones is admirable but its not enough.. I say your going to go through a few relapses and binges before you even start seeing progress.. But if this is really what you want for yourself i know you can do it..

 

Classic depression, if you dont right your wrongs you will not have to movition or energy to change. And you will remain depressed

Stop feeling sorry for yourself and change one thing, just focus on one thing, the eaisist thing that you can change, and start making real progress

if its still to hard break it down and take a smaller step, just take this first step, dont think about anything else other than the basic movements in completing that step

Many mornings i couldnt get out of bed because i was in my head my exuses, now i just ingnore them and literally only focus on the mechanics of taking that first step out of bed and im literally out in seconds and its so easy i dont even put up a fight and i dont mentally drain myself. But in the past it could take hours or not even getting out of bed at all.

A taste of success with give you the movitation for the rest and youll learn you can do this just take it one step at a time focus on this easiest problem first, then work your way up to the more challenging problems. stop making excuses they are not valid, you are much stronger than you think.

 

A prisoner who has been locked in jail for many years will think to himself, theres nothing out there for me, i have been in this prison most of my life and this is all i have. But little does he realize that the world is full of meaning and potential, you might have to seek that out on your own, and sometimes it will come to you, but if you never leave that prison and enter the world you will never know what can be, you must find the will to thrive and find your meaning.

 

I think porn industry should be considered as an illegal activiy, just like drugs. I have never seen a single person who is hillarious about his/her habit of watching porn, but I've seen a lot of people and couples who have been hurt by it.

So, if you really wish to stop watching pornography and all things related, you better find an alternative for it. If you don't do so, you'll probably get back to it again.

If you need motivation, I think nothing is better than being honest to yourself. Treat yourself as your own helper and whenever you feel like you are going to relapse, bring yourself to a new phase.(I myself listen to music and talk to my own). If you are patient enough, you'll see the urge you feel is not going to last.

And one more thing...we all need to notice, if we keep going, we'll be one of those successful people. The only thing we need, is perseverance and time.

 

the best answer ever! Thank you!!!

 

I know how you're feeling. I felt the same way. I'd recommend looking a little Into "inner child work"
Please correct me if I'm wrong. But I'm guessing that when you were a little boy you went through some difficult times. Maybe you felt unsafe or not good enough , or cared for.
So you eventually found unhealthy ways to cope with those feelings. Truth is that little boy is still inside. Still hurt , scared as hell, and not feeling very safe, or loved. You can make him feel safe !

 

Sound like you have an overwhelming number of things that you want to change. So change one thing. Like @Inspired2Rewire says. Which would be the easiest for you to change?

If I were you, I would starting tomorrow morning avoid turning on the computer until say 4 (or whenever). Spend the first hours of the day having a long shower, tidying up my space and making some nice food to eat.
If that's too much, tidy one thing. Make a pact to tidy one thing away every time you go to the toilet. Little changes. And take pride in every one. You aren't going to change into a different person all at once.

 

Ok first you need to journal immediately about the positive changes you have already made by getting rid of the porn. The sadness, anxiety and emptiness you feel right now is part of the healing. Your brain is telling you it needs its fix. It will do everything it can to play tricks on you. I've been there man and let me tell you, the pain and suffering is worth the pleasure you will get from feeling free from the shackles, but you must realize the journey could be bumpy.
Its all baby steps. Make a list of changes you want to make with yourself.. health first! Make mention of everything pmo has caused and make logical sense that by getting rid of pmo forever is best for overall health and wellness. Next - Appearance second! Change things about your look to help create a "new you". Then make a list of things in your home that need to be fixed and cleaned. Quit marijuana slowly, as too quick quitting can cause mental and physical issues. Weaning is the key. A little less daily.. its ok to take over a week to quit as long as you use less daily over and over until you're clean. Booze is a depressant, so quitting would be best for you. Then try to begin an exercise plan. From there get an animal to join you on said excercise. Find a good psychiatrist to help you stay on path. Honestly they have good ideas that can keep you clean and sober.. from there Build daily activities and goals to finish to help build dopamine naturally. Also look into a dopamine diet along with Mediterranean diet.. Now maybe a few months has passed...maybe a girlfriend could be in order. Try and date around and see whats in order. If your job sucks at this point you should have built enough self esteem to find a better one. This is the journey man. Its not going to be easy..but in the end you can look back and realize you weren't one of the ones who let their addiction take them over and completely destroy their life. Its all your choice. What do you choose?

 

Dude, you need to work.

That is because you can afford that. You are a comfy firstworld hobbit just relaxing and chilling all the day. Comfort and easyness are destroying you.

If you are not happy eating, gaming and browsing the internet all day, maybe happyness for you consist in working, sacrifice and start paying rent.

 

Slowly, little by little.
Start with cleaning your room. Please.

 

As annoying as this will sound, a step at a time. But I know right now this will sound like the most annoyiest and stupidest thing to say, like saying to someone who was just dumped there are plenty of fish in the sea. No Shi*t sherlock.

Why do you want to quit, is my first question. What future do you want to strive for ? What are the things you want to achieve ? Is there anything deeper that you've buried that is causing you pain ? You took the first biggest step in anycase, which you should feel proud ...you deleted your collection and began your quest. But yeah, introspection may help...listen to videos from say Jordan peterson to people who have quit porn. You may get a spark..otherwise you might need to have a 'shock' to the system. But I think its normal to have those feelings of depression..its like you've taken away a kids sweets to make them not get tooth decay..they'll hate it at first but be thankful later.

Research, go out and do things...small things...or as JP says tidy your room before you tackle bigger things. By learning and trying out different things you will find what works for you...its a nuissance I know..no one really has an answer as our experiences are unique to us...and yours is unique to you.

 

Hi Daymare,
I sympathize and indeed emphasize with what you have written. You must overhaul your whole life in order to save it! Which is easier said than done. I know this all too well through bitter first hand experience. I have, inter alia, clinical depression. But, this post concerns you not I.

Have you ever tried the '32 Parts of the Body Meditation' ? Please click on this link https://32parts.com/ to find out more. Most important of all you must reduce, or better still eliminate, your medications. All medications are poisonous and addictive. Would you consider a digital detox? Perhaps a real world hobby such as carpentry or painting would fill the void. Please reflect on what I have written Daymare.

Good luck comrade!

 

That's the real question, and by the sound of it, the answer is 'No'.

The thing about any kind of addiction or abuse of a drug/pleasure/stimulant/good thing is that the pay-off is front-end loaded. Diving off a high cliff gives you a massive rush, but then you have to swim out of the water, and start climbing all the way back up the cliff if you want to feel the same sensation. This is the way dopamine's 'supposed' to be accessed - through some sort of labour and delayed gratification.

Drugs are a lie in that they set up the expectation of more, similar highs with no cliffs climbed, but in reality, the thrill gets less and less, and the unclimbed cliff grows steadily steeper in the background, till it starts looking like a sheer rock face with few real handholds.

It's like with debt. Spending money you haven't earned is easy; paying it back on top of paying everything else you're supposed to be paying is hellishly difficult.

The point here is that you need to re-frame your whole outlook on life if you want genuine, deep, lasting change, because there is no magic cliff you can jump off and land in the blissful state you were in before you got hooked on cheap highs. That's addict logic.

You're going to have to try to wrap your head around the fact that all your life-muscles are atrophied, and you've completely totalled your reward circuitry. You're going to have to learn to climb again, without much expectation of feeling good about it. If you're too weak to climb, you'll have to start learning to wiggle your fingers and toes. This analogy is getting convoluted now, but I'm sure you follow?

One of the best tips I've picked up is not to try to go cold-turkey if you're not able. Instead, try doing difficult things to build up some moral strength in the background, before you try to rip away the drugs you're now dependent upon. Make yourself do things just because they're hard and need to be done.

Maybe you're already looking after yourself, though? Do you cook and clean for yourself; look after your hygiene; work; do exercise; keep your environment under control? If so, you're ahead of the game. If not, you know where to start. Small and often is much better than big and once. Leverage micro-goals until they become habits and you can handle bigger things, and don't expect to magically start feeling great about your life, because that's a really high-level achievement. Instead, start noticing moments where you realise you weren't feeling utter despair, and be patient while they build themselves into prolongued periods of peace. Be warned that this might - maybe even must - take years, and if you think you've arrived in a few days, it was a false start.

I really hope this helps you in some way, because it worked for me, and I was truly at the bottom of some really deep shit until just a few years ago.

 

Working one by one

Starting with video game,,,,

Then exercise

Then eat healthy

Then stop smoking and alcohol

Then stop porno


I was smoking, heavy gamers, anime, porn ofc

I get rid most of em except porn

And phone adiction which i found it

 

hollyman - this seems like a good order, i think, although it needs to be personal.

If you are anything like me, porn will be the hardest thing to quit, harder than junk food, late nigjts, lack of exercise, internet addiction etc. Of course they are related - porn use will naturally cut down if you only allow yourself an hour or two of internet a day, apart from job searches.

I wanted to second the advice to get a job. Something basic is fine,in fact,it's better right now as you want to build discipline rather than chase your dreams right away. I know times are hard,but it isnt difficult to get restaurant or shop work. Treat it as an opportunity to build your discipline, turn up on time well rested, well fed and well presented without fail every day. You will build habits that will benefit you in all parts of your life.
If you can afford not to work, get a job anyway.

 

Dude, throw your computer in the trash, join the Army. You need strict rules, a rhythm, discipline and goals in your life, of course your life sucks, isn't it obvious? Where are you going in life? If you can't put in one simple sentence what your purpose is right now, your life lacks meaning and that is a messed up situation.
Find a life worth living, find hobbies you enjoy, find friends you can trust and like to spend time with, find a woman you love, build a future and work for it, you can do ANYTHING with your life, but doing the same fucking thing over and over again will get you to a very shitty place.

 

The reason why you're feeling that way is because of porn and all of your addictions. Your reason to quit porn is to have a better life. A meaningful life, to feel that you have a purpose in this life. You can do it. Don't let it break your heart.