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The story of unsuccess

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by monke, May 10, 2014.

  1. May 10, 2014 #1
    monke

    monke Fapstronaut

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    This is a story of unsuccess.

    I really had problems with porn, i was daily user. Then i started to fight, going to confession from last august. Then i was able to last for couple of days and it was miracke for me.

    After that in October i made my record-21 day. Then in december i discovered this site, joined 6th of december and lasted till christmas (19 days) my second record. Then in this year i lasted once 14 days and second time 12 days. In the meantime i had relapses every 6-7 days.

    In these period (from august) i trained myself to look women in the street only in their eyes and their hair.

    Then in the last week of april my colapse started. I fapped 7-8 times in 10 days. The last week i begun to look women's breasts and ass lustfully on the street (after 9 months not doing it).

    I totally lost my motivation. Last couple of motnhs i was falling but i was determined to fight, now i just feel like i give in.

    I 've done couple of things to occupy my time (buy a photocamera, joined the library to read books, volunteer every day 2 hours after work in shelter for homeless).

    I've done many things but it seems there is no result. Now i colapsey morally totally.

    I'm 25 by the way
     
    monke, May 10, 2014
    monke, May 10, 2014
    #1
  2. May 10, 2014 #2
    Alexander_D

    Alexander_D Fapstronaut

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    Dont get discouraged. Youve done plenty of things and you had a great run. Well done! Dont forget that success; build on it.

    It's easy to keep falling after we fall and it's hard to get back up. I know the feeling in church, not taking communion while everyone else does, waiting in the confession line and only being half sorry, while you've lost all control over the other half. It's tough!

    But you have the desire to stop and that's the really important thing. The more you feed that desire, the weaker the PMO urge will become. You wont KO the PMO right away, but as long as you're determined to fight, he'll wear down and you'll find more strength. He'll still get a few good punches in, some of which will have you on the ground (like you are now), but the fight isnt over until youre dead and he can never kill you!
    But the worst thing to do is to lose hope after a fall. That only fills PMO with courage and he'll be all over you without mercy.
    Keep your perspective. Learn to forgive yourself. Dont get exhausted by a fall. Nothing else matters except that moment when you decide to start fighting again. Keep at it!
     
    Alexander_D, May 10, 2014
    Alexander_D, May 10, 2014
    #2
  3. May 10, 2014 #3
    Cojax

    Cojax Fapstronaut

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    Everything you have done so far has been to prepare yourself for battle! Keep fighting and soon you will be able to look back at this and saying it was just soemthing you had to get through to get the success you deserve! Keep remembering why you do this in the first place and try to keep the faith alive that you one day will make it! Read success stories to get inspired!
     
    Cojax, May 10, 2014
    Cojax, May 10, 2014
    #3
  4. May 10, 2014 #4
    monke

    monke Fapstronaut

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    Thank you both.

    I will bring the fight to the new level. If all those hobbies and obligations aren't enough i will bring the new ones.

    God will hear my prayer
     
    monke, May 10, 2014
    monke, May 10, 2014
    #4

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