The psychology of femdom.

I'd say anyone who raises themselves above anyone else and feels pride while doing it is evil. We should all be humble, even if we are better than someone else at something.

Something that makes me really mad is when I feel someone is taking pride in the fact they have more than me or better than me at something, or in a higher position of authority. These type of people I don't like at all

 

Before I respond I got some questions:

• what age did this arousal for "shoeplay" and feet (female feet or any feet) start?
• was there any significant event in your life after which this fetish appeared
• did you first see this fetish acted in porn and then felt it get stronger over time?
• is this arousal from feet different than the arousal you feel for other sexual activities?
• how often do you have sex, how often do you use porn, and what percentage of both includes feetplay?

 

Yup feel free to PM. Even if this fixation on feet is something that developed in you before being exposed to porn, it doesn't mean it's going to dominate your life, it can just be something that peaks your interest a little. If you have little social and sexual experience with women, you've gone your whole life building up neural pathways that respond to feet and other things and no pathways related to real sex and real relationships. This fixation for feet may be very weak, but you don't have strong neural connections to normal sex so the feet arousal seems overwhelming. I too thought sissy stuff was extremely arousing and exciting until I actually began having real sex and being with real women. Nothing compares to another person's body and companionship.

Even if it is a strong fetish, you can still live a totally normal life. Apparently one the friend of my girlfriend is engaged to a guy who has a pretty strong foot fetish, but it absolutely not fucking up his life. He's 28 and engaged to his very pretty girlfriend, he just bought a house in the SF Bay Area, he's a manager at a biotech startup, and he's just an all around cool guy from what I've heard. We know he has a foot fetish because years ago his girlfriend jokingly told her buddies, including my gf, that she went on a date with a guy with a foot fetish, and five years later she's still with him. She does not talk about it anymore and he certainly never has, but as far as we know he's on top of the world. Just don't let this stuff debilitate you and it won't matter. Most people that spend more time watching porn and less time interacting with people have all these weird thoughts and desires, and once you begin to be more social and sexual they go away. If they don't it doesn't necessarily mean it'll be a huge drag on your life.

 

I had this interest in women's feet ever since I was about five or six years old. Then, around ten or eleven year old I developed a thing for shoeplay around age ten or eleven.

Nope, No significant events that built this fetish unless barefoot babysitters, or teachers count.

If I am being honest, I didn't even know this was a fetish until I discovered porn at 14 years old.

To me my arousal for lady toes is about about the same as my arousal to boobs.

I am a virgin, never had sex I have always been sensitive and anxious when being around women. Despite having the opposite personality most of the time. I avoid porn as much as I possibly can but if I get desperate, I will allow myself a "reset" every once a month.

I also deleted the first post because I accidently removed the unquote and I was afraid you couldn't read it.

 

I highly suggest doing a 90 day reboot and then rewiring with some standard sexual activity. Reboots help us "forget" porn and focus on real women. I can see that you are 20, are you in college or any social groups where you regularly interact with women?

 

The best relationships are the ones where man and woman sees and treat each other like equals in a caring and serving way imho.

I understand your questions, you try to sort things out the "scientific" way. And that's fine.
That way you can create a mirror for oneself and see what's possibly true or not true. I like these kind of "thinking structures".

Everywhere where people raise themselves, conflicts and problems occur. That's including myself. That's a principle of life.
But everywhere where people know how to act kind and humble, people feel fine and blessed, as that attitude makes it possible to make a real connection with the other.

It has helped me a lot to understand why there are women who sells themselves as "mistress" or "domme".
They must have a huge blind spot (blindfolded by the power it gives them and the money it gets them) to not see how harmful their acts are.
Should they gonna see the truth, they should immediate stop their destructing behavior, because a healthy person always seeks the best for him/herself and the other. That's at least one of my core values in life.
So because of their destructive behavior, it must be fact that these women destruct themselves too while acting out their "femdom" stuff, and get the bucks to pay their bills.
And that's not difficult to understand.
We can stay humble for eternity.
But we can't raise ourselves endless. Once we meet the roof, we possibly wake up, starting to make the right changes in our lives.

I can go one step further in this.
People always raise themselves because they have a unsolved issue in their life. An issue they have pushed down into their unconsciousness (maybe as a kid or even baby).
It's exactly this unsolved issue that work as the base for their raising. They push themselves into that haughtiness in the relationship with the other, creating a false relationship.
Should they not have unsolved issues, but should they have a pure, clean and whole heart, they can't even raise themselves any more as their integrity would keep themselves by their own heart and core values.

Truth always sets free.
Understanding the truth has set me free from this very ensnaring shit called femdom, for the last one and half year.

I hope everybody here who reads this do their own "thinking" and understand what's really going on while they give their lives and seed away to these evil women.

 

Well said, and these are good questions imo.
One of the tasks for a porn addict to become an overcomer and conqueror, is to develop a shield to protect his/her mind.
We indeed need to be conscous about what we "eat daily" according to (social) media.
We need to choose what we let in and what not.

 

I suffer from the same attraction. I cannot explain it, but something about being owned and controlled by a powerful woman is highly arousing to me.

 

I think my strategy for now is to work on several different "easier" challenges before reaching the 90 day challenge, as a way to ensure that I will be motivated to overcome my porn addiction. I do attend college and am taking classes, but the problem is I often feel out of place there, most of my social group consists of men and a few women at my workplace, only problem is as much as I enjoy talking to my female co-workers, I just wouldn't feel comfortable dating them, I just feel like romance between co-workers is awkward.

 

That's good to hear. I also feel that way about relationships.

The rest of what you wrote was interesting but really did not answer my questions aha. If you do want to answer them you know where they are.

And to be clear I do not think anyone giving money and power to dominatrixes is healthy. I do not think people should use porn. I was very addicted to femdom adjacent fetishes and it was terrible.

I am also not a drone for women. Women are my friends, I treat them the same as the guys. I make my girlfriend feel better when she is sad, push her to focus on her research that is well above my level of understanding, and every night she sleeps over I

Spoiler: graphic sex act

bend her ass over and clap those cheeks until we cum at the same time

Just because I try very hard to treat the men and women in my life equally does not mean my girlfriend and I are going to forego badass sex.

 

Don't date your coworkers. Just a recipe for trouble. I will say from experience that the spiciness of dating a coworker, and especially a team leader, does not diminish if you stop working there. I was a team leader at my college job and vehemently avoided any flirting with the girls as to avoid any lawsuits or accusations at my very liberal college. Once I left, two of them actively sought me out, and they were delicious.

As of doing the other challenges, if you complete them, why stop there? Doing 30 days 3 times is definitely harder than doing 90 once, so just do 90 once. It's so much easier.

The best thing imo is joining clubs or any social groups where people are almost required to be your friend. I've been in one since I started college, it's great, I pay $500 a year to have friends hahaha. It's hard to flirt with women when you don't know how to be friends with them. Make some friends with women, and you'll find some of them will probably want to fuck. It's so surprising when it happens but who cares, it's the easiest strategy.

 

Spoiler

But what if I want her to finish first? Honestly a relationship were the woman finishes first is the type of relationship I want to be in.

 

Don't worry my gf cums way more than me. She's usually had one before I'm even inside her, and her O-count is many times greater than mine.

Interestingly though, we as individuals both probably cum 85% of the time we try. Sometimes it just doesn't happen, and that's ok. Sometimes she doesn't, sometimes I don't. Forcing it is the worst. I think our sex life is so great because we don't force it, it naturally happens, and it just kept building up to the point where we both pop off at a very high success rate.

I ofc have always wanted to be in a relationship where the girl finishes first. That is not how it started for my girlfriend and I. I don't think she came for the first 3-4 months we dated, whereas I had probably 12 orgasms from sex by that time. Believe me I was trying and she wanted it, but it just didn't happen. That's ok. She enjoyed it, I enjoyed it. And while orgasms feel really fucking good, it's not the main benefit of sex in a long term relationship. You want that intimacy, that vulnerability, that connection to be flowing, probably before crazy orgasms.

We both finish easily and a lot because we've been practicing with each other for dozens of months. But the best thing is just being naked with someone I care a lot for and falling asleep because we're so calm.

 

I honestly have no interest in dating co-workers because to me at least it just seems too much like a hassle and I also just want to keep my work life separate from my personal life. You must seem to be enjoying college more than I am in all honesty. I grew up thinking college was an intellectual workhouse, now at least from my perspective it seems more like a daycare for grown-ups if anything. Everybody feels like they have to know everybody and nobody can be left out even if they want to, and it seems like the concepts of trust and privacy are basically non-existant. And in all honesty on most days I feel more comfortable staying in my own little zone and not talk to people because I don't want people to lecture me about the stuff I like and why I am a bad person for enjoying that what I like and not liking the popular trends instead. But I guess I should try to be more comfortable with trying to be uncomfortable.
Not to worry, I still find other mean of socializing though.

I agree, but even that is hard for me, Why? because I tend to lose my edge around women there is this part of me that women can get from me too easily but men can't get at all.

Spoiler: Outrage Warning

This is sort of why I follow the "Red-Pill" a little bit not because I want reasons and excuses to hate women but to remind myself that I have my own needs and goals too. and that just like I need to respect other people I should have some respect for myself as well. Also I feel like I love women too much to the point I feel like I need to protect myself.

 

My school is really nerdy but I have been really lucky to find a club with people that fit my vibe really well. I go to their events once a week, hang out with my girlfriend on the weekend, and then study the rest of the time. Normal day for me is 11-12 hours of schoolwork. Imo in college you should be putting in at least 10 hours of schoolwork a day, 12 total if you do research. If you don't do that but have straight A's, transfer to a tougher school.

I have a great time because I do what I want to do. The things I do make me happy. I like my classes even though they're hard, I like my training schedule even though it makes me tired, and I like to hang out with my girlfriend and my friends because that's what important. All these things are hard, but they make me happy, so I push through to make sure each gets their due attention.

The Red Pill means so many things, and I don't want to assume anything about you, so if you wanted to summarize what it means to you I would like to read it.

 

How rude of me, I was going to introduce myself to you, but I keep putting it off because either of studying, workdays, or just frivilous time consumption. Is it okay if I explain my what I mean in my introduction?

 

Yes please however you would like