Nothing to be ashamed of man. We’ve all been there. We’re all here beside you in your fight. Together we will bring freedom to Middle-Earth!
Day 0 Back in the saddle... I confess I've been relapsing a lot lately and not even really trying to kick the pmo habit, but today I found new motivation. I'll admit I saw some material I wasn't very comfortable with and felt a lot of shame. I've been in this headspace of feeling like I have to "wait for the right time" to begin this new streak, but that just prolongs the addictive cycle and is really just an excuse to keep using. Plus it always feels like just going backwards and against my present identity as a Fapstronaut when I'm using, yet in a few days I'll probably feel like I really need it. On the plus side I started a new and pretty in-depth hypnosis program today. I think this information will be really helpful to me and give me something to focus on for awhile. Other than nofap my sole focus for now will be on clearing out what remains of my toxic programing.
Day 10. I can very well spot in my mind and body the consequences of falling. Dopamine urges, as little waves attack me, but I know it's temporary. The first days are the worst. It's a matter of time till I'm "porn free" or "bad, dark thoughts free" again. Good news is God keeps talking to me, showing me where I have to go, day by day. Also today is my 104th day of "reading the Bible in 365 days" almost 1/3 of the road!
Good to see you still here fighting. Do you mean that your urges for dopamine in general go up, like for example cravings for say caffeine after relapsing? I think I will skip my morning tea today as I've noted some level of link between caffeine and PMO, as have many others here. "I know it's temporary. The first days are the worst. It's a matter of time till I'm "porn free" or "bad, dark thoughts free" again." I'll try to keep this quote in mind today. It's like your certain you'll get there again! I'll try to cultivate a similar confidence. When I had it is when I did best.
One thing I’ve noticed can really help is finding a hobby or some kind of self care routine. Any sort of physical exercise is a great example, at least in my case. It really helps me get that tension out of the body. Doesn’t have to be something physical either if you don’t prefer that. Anything that can keep your mind occupied and away from sparking a thought that can draw you back into the darkness. In the end, it’s all a mental game. Stay strong my friend. I’m here for your support man.
