Evening of the 2nd day. Busy day today. No time for that PMO business. Last night I was writing a check-in post but ended up getting too tired to finish it. Or maybe lacked the confidence to post it is more accurate. Here's the message I saved. Today I made a delivery of something I sold online. Up until I called to clarify exactly where the apartment was I assumed the buyer was a guy. Turns out it was a young woman. There were two young women. Both immigrants and both attractive. I can not say my mind handled them perfectly but I believe it did not wander as far as it would have a couple years ago, or even a year ago. Definitely more relaxed. Later on I did note a fantasy form in my head where the two of them found me attractive. That can be laid to rest, what they think of me is none of my business. Not long ago I wrapped a banana in a tortilla with peanut butter and jam. At some point over the past year I started having the thought of putting a penis in my mouth when eating one of these. I blame porn for this one. Hopefully by posting some bad attitudes and thoughts are expelled.
I'm back already. You were right. I fell to porn last night. I was sick yesterday, and tired, and every other excuse in the book, but if I hadn't been permissive with fapping, I wouldn't have taken the lazy route to a quick MO by utilizing an erotic video to get it done easier. Lesson learned--we have to be honest with ourselves first. You are a great example of this and your leadership and support are appreciated. I don't feel strong, or ready, or fully committed at the moment, but I've got to start trying again now. Beginning as a hobbit today! ... Your example is instructive and inspiring, and I need to learn from both sides of your experience--the incredible consistency of your 500-day streak, as well as the reality that we are never fully "healed" from the lure of this drug. Total respect to you @Ready to Stop! Glad to see you back in the challenge, my friend. Sounds like we are in a similar boat. Onward to victory!
day 5 By unfortunate coincidence, I basically worked a 17-hr shift. Exhausted, but thank God I come back home in one piece.
Day1 Why has it been that I'm not able to get past 14-20 days? I don't succumb to sexual urge, nor lapse of will or discipline, it's something else that forces me to reset.
35 (3 hard mode) days complete Moria, the greatest Dwarven Kingdom, is before me. With a beard and a axe, I am a Dwarf now. On this day went to BJJ workout after a long time. In the evening I was very tired, started watching fun youtube videos, then started watching YouTube shorts. Then some video poped up ment to keep horny men's attention and I instantly slided it away, then the same thing happened few more times. I was hooked on these videos past my bed time, this happens sometimes when I am tired and not careful, but I am really proud how easily I ignored the harmful content. I also feel that I am doing better at not checking women out.
Day 77 Today is a challengeable day for me. When I getup , bad thoughts are covered my mind. Now I am clearing my mind from bad thoughts. I think this symptoms are coming from after Nightfall in Yesterday night. Good luck all
Day 78. A LITTLE KNOWLEDGE IS DANGEROUS “Every great power is dangerous for the beginner. You must therefore wield them as you are able, but in harmony with nature.” —EPICTETUS, DISCOURSES, 3.13.20 reat teachers are usually hardest on their most promising students. When teachers see potential, they want it to be fully realized. But great teachers are also aware that natural ability and quick comprehension can be quite dangerous to the student if left alone. Early promise can lead to overconfidence and create bad habits. Those who pick things up quickly are notorious for skipping the basic lessons and ignoring the fundamentals. Don’t get carried away. Take it slow. Train with humility.
Day 5 Hard mood is interesting. Last night me and my SO were intimate together while I stayed with my pants on the whole time. Determining to stay close to her physically and emotionally but to not cum. Very hard to stay focused but in the end it was not a bad experience at all and after a long time where we had problems regarding sexuallety, being selfless was really fun. Today I woke up without any brain fog and with a better determination to make it.
Day 3 no PMO. My wife leaves town today and I’ll have a lot of opportunity for lapse until she gets back Sunday. I’ve got to keep reminding myself that watching porn won’t actually make me feel better. It’s a lie. It will actually make me feel worse. It’s the problem… not the solution.
225 days semen retention Day 4 water fast I decided after reading some literature about fasting to go at least 5 days fast. It's the minimum to have a powerful impact in general health. I was also going to end it yesterday, I even went to buy some snacks to break the fast. But I found a childhood friend he's 3 years younger than me, eats healthy and excersices all his life. "you look 10 years younger than me" he told me. That motivated me to keep the fasting. I've been doing water fast, healthy habits and semen retention since I'm 12 y.o and I can see it gives me an advantage over other men specially after time goes by.
Checking in brotherhood! 6 days hardmode. going good since i predict the next weeks i´ll be flooded with brain fog, i decided to do the wim hof breathing in the morning, before breakfast, and in the afternoon, after lunch. this way i can be better equipped not just for the regular life responsabilities, but also for the withdrawal symptoms (anxiety, fatigue, food binging, etc...). Had a little temptation for porn after lunch today, but when i finished the wim hof breathing, i felt a lot better and get out of the house. still it was a dangerous situation, since i was home alone, a heavy summer weather outside, and the laptop right next to me... i´m gonna take preventive measures and make sure i can´t acess the laptop while in my lunch break. Nothing more to add my friends. Ahhhh, i decide to read again the lord of the rings books . i thought, "a new challlenge display needs a new motivation, so i since i love these books, here i go again". Can i read the 3 books in 180 days? let´s find out Checking out Middle Earth creatures a huge warming welcome to our returned brother @SSS Vision . Clarity of mind is the best, isn´t it big hug brother
@RiseToGreatness you talk so much about it, I want to try it. How's the method? Is there a youtube video you can link about the technique?
Dawn of the 3rd day. – PMO forces have spotted you!! With haste you use the Bucklebury Ferry to cross the Brandywine river. Thinking about the theme of this challenge. While I have watched the movies, it has been quite a long time so I've taken some time to read about the events at Mount Doom. Incase anyone in this thread has not experienced LotR I won't spoil it. Having an understanding of what transpired is a key to seeing how this challenge is different from many others. Read or watch LotR, highly recommend. If you've only watched the movies, read about how the book differs at the end. Outside of our day counter, any time we stand at the cusp of relapse we are standing over the fires of Mount Doom with the PMO Ring in hand.
I'm sad to report that I have relapsed last night and today by the morning. I had a very tiring and busy day, and at night I started scrolling through reddit to see some memes and relax a bit. But some softcore pics appeared to me and I started to go down the rabbit hole. I ended up watching hardcore stuff and PMOing twice. By the morning, I relapsed again MOing out of sadness. It is indeed a lie. I was fooled, P deceived me. It took my joy and made me miserable. It's never worth it and I hate it. I hate that it exists. Yet I know that I have the opportunity to choose, and right now I'm choosing to rise up again and restart. PMO has not defeated me yet!