The Lord of the Rings Challenge

30 days completed - A new ELF arrives to help the Fellowship

 

unfortunately I relapsed
The good thing is that I achieved the goal of 90 days reboot and that helped me a lot!
I will start again in 90 days and as long as it goes!

 

Checking in day 153.

Congratulations on becoming a Warrior brother !

 

Well done brother!

 

Update: going ham with the new goals and habits. Some don't go as I fancy them and sometimes I'm a little less strict but I hope I can get it all running smoothly soon
(new recommitment ritual, cold shower, pledge [see Signature] and dopamine detox, diet ...)

Trying to not count the days and not aiming for the streak (I mean pmo and so on)
But haven't relapsed since, not even M !

I'm becoming very productive it seems. But it's still difficult to get from one activity to another without slack and keeping away from news and entertainment. Sometimes I feel a little empty.

The forum has become a refugium again and I'm frequenting it often. Seems difficult to just do the new stuff without talking about it ...

Today I listened to music a lot, which is, I think, a good thing, unless I overdo it ...
Friends are a factor too and they seem to keep distracting me. But what can I do?

Thoughts about sex and porn come all the time but - who said it? - I should accept that and don't push them away. Real, dangerous urges come only once a day, or that's about the ratio ...

Now ... trying to be grateful, patient, happy. Hoping and praying for continuation and improvement.

 

Yeah I'm joining in

 

Day 105

A very good Friday - had a decent lie in, slow morning, then a brilliantly sunny drive to the gym. I did have work this evening but all in all feeling better for it, now ready for a proper day off tomorrow!

I feel that my body has becomes less reactive to triggers. Of course I’ll be remaining vigilant, but a scene came up on a show I’m watching that previously might have made me relapse, but today I felt in control.

 

Day 26, lovely, busy day

 

Day 253

 

day checking in:

 

Day 2. Feeling the energy return already. Excited for the future

 

You can update your signature to "Orc"!

I, too, am an Orc. For now.

 

Checking in Day 4.

 

37 days – You enter the cold Misty Mountains, the Hithaeglir.

I enter the Misty Mountains! Nice. They might not be easy to cross, but I can and must do it.

I think I might have cleared a big trauma with that hypnosis tape I've been using. It felt like a part of my mind collapsed and gave way... Really strange feeling and now I'm not reacting to the issue anymore like there's nothing there to trigger.

 

Day 425

 

Dawn of the 29th day.

 

Day 1!

 

I too want that streak man. Great job

 

Day 418 no PMO. I volunteer today and tomorrow at church so it should be a good weekend. Happy Easter guys! Stay strong!

 

This morning in bed I had sexual fantasies. First it was about a girl I like and more romantic, not so explicit. But then my minded shifted to a porn scene. Despite having begun to edge a little I managed to get the f* up and have breakfast. But then I started to watch or listen to the news, maybe for compensation. Anyway, I couldn't start my day really, I didn't plan anything, I just went on and on with consuming (disturbing) News on youtube.

In fact I'm sincerely interested in the situation in Ukraine and another topic, but that's not changing the fact, that it's simply my own problem if I "binge" on the news and naturally it doesn't help anyone in the World.
What happened was, suddenly it culminated and the porn scene came back to my mind while I still was listening to the News. My mind told me to go in another room without a window and search for the porn scene and pmo.
That's when I knew I had to stop. I was already thinking the words that I would write HERE and it helped. I switched off the News and came here.

Just to make it clear: if I had searched for that porn scene, I had found a lot more. Even if I had find it, would it have been enough to satisfy me? The dopamine doesn't do much for satisfaction, it is for hunting. As soon as the one scene is found it already wants another one. More, more, more - that's why it destroys us.
Not the dopamine alone, of course. Others have developed healthier habits, even in regards to porn consumation.
But that's it: we got addicted, we developed this f*ed up habits and we became the perfect prey for the industry.
So learn, to say "no." "It's enough!"