The lie they teach men, women do want some monetary value in men

What would be some examples of building value and worthy personal resources?

Reading an interesting book, studying a subject? Attending seminars?

 

When you say "value", can you be more specific? Money also has value..

 

Could be. More contrasting examples would be investing your time and attention in meditation, exercise and physical activity, acquiring wisdom, developing any sort of skill, and such. These are things that are never dissociated from the reboot process as a whole, you can't heal in the same environment that has made you sick and if you don't channel it out through some sort of expansion.

Money has value but it differs from person to person. The poster is frustrated because society has put men in a place where their acquisitive power determines social status almost directly — and questions regarding social status, self-image and self-esteem are central to many of those who have been struggling with pornography addiction too. My recommendation here is to not necessairly go along with society because money is indeed "fetishised" — you don't want a social fetish on the expense of a sexual one.

I'm sharing a different perspective, you do not need to give in to lust and materialism. If you want a tip, go look for an honest girlfriend instead, with the same acquisitive power as you, relative social status, and such. However, if you do value money and social statuses to an extent (and I hope it's conscious!) and find yourself having the goals and desires of acquiring wealth, building something with material resources and so on, then do what you heart says.

 

The dating landscape has changed due to social media and progressing societal norms.
You do, as a man, need a job, at the very least, to go on dates with women, but you don't have to be rich for her to like you.
I've seen blue collar dudes get with lawyers and nurses and doctors and scientists, and they make less than they do.
As someone before me has stated in this thread, women make their own money and no longer need a man to survive in the United States, what they want is to be wanted for who they are and be happy with the person they end up with and hope that the other person feels the same way.
Admittedly, it's easy to get stuck into this way of thinking, thinking that women want rich men, but no.
They want a man who woos them, and part of it will be physical attraction, the rest is how you make them feel.

Speaking from my own experience, my problem with women is not really a problem with them, but more to do with me.
I don't take risks anymore. They want me to be assertive, but trauma has caught up with me and I am terrified to escalating it into something physical.
^^^My bad, went off on a tangent there, but not really.

 

The sexual experience will always have something of terrifying that needs to be lived through. I wouldn't say you should refrain yourself from having sex, it can actually heal your trauma.

 

I know man, and thank you for your response. It's something that must be overcome, and there's no other way to do it besides to jump in said pool that you're afraid of drowning in.