So what I have discovered is that to stop masturbation you must first learn to master it. What I mean by this is to masturbate with no shame. The problem with most people is they masturbate to their fantasy and they're ashamed of it. So when they quite they leave feeling ashamed. When they get there next urge they feel shame thinking about there fantasy. This brings them back to relapse. Shame attracts more shame. so before you try and quite masturbate to something you love. Girlfriend/wife/Person you want to be your girlfriend. Except instead of feeling shame that you used your hand, imagine being with them in the act. Feel the love. Come out of it enjoying it. Then quite. then when you quit you can look back at masturbation as something you mastered and can control. And if you feel love while masturbating it will attract more love. Which will help you quit because masturbation doesn't usually create love it creates isolation. I am not saying don't quit. I want everyone to quit. I'm saying don't leave it out of shame leave it out of love. please give constructive thoughts and let me know if you find this positive or destructive. if it is destructive to anyone I will take it down.
@Josh.stalz. Here are my thoughts/opinion on the matter. I see where your thinking is at. Think happy thoughts and have a healthy masturbation session then quit. It makes sense in theory the only problem is as PMO addicts we cant have "healthy" masturbation any more than an alcoholic can have a "healthy" drink before he or she quits. The act of masturbation is a solo act no matter how you look at it. You are still alone not connecting thinking about pornographic thoughts, it is still objectification even if it is someone you care about. I was reading a thread recently about a PA asking if it was okay to look at homemade videos and pictures of his SO and masturbate to them. Most advised against it as it is to similar to what we are trying to stay away from. In order to rewire our brains we need to focus on intimacy and human connection and stay away form solo sexual acts. If your addicted to masturbation then the only real way to stop masturbating is to just stop masturbating. I feel that if I were to successfully masturbate to my thoughts of my SO in a way that was not graphic and objectifying then it would simply give me a false sense of security later on. Later on after a rough day I would think to myself "I was able to masturbate lovingly that one time, I can just do that again." Then before I know it I am compulsively masturbating again even if it is to my SO. When I was at my worst I would constantly rationalize why I should masturbate. I was even able to convince myself that it was a good idea to watch porn and then tell myself "Just this once." I look back now and know this was a form of denial. It was a way for me to make what I was doing okay. I am not saying that this is what you are doing but it does sound very close to what I used to do. If you have a problem with masturbation and what to master it then the only real way I can see to do it is to stop doing it completely. This is of course based on my own opinion and experiences. Maybe this technique would work for someone but from what I have learned there is not a way for me to masturbate with out it being a problem. I hope you don't feel the need to take this post down because I disagree. I think it is important to keep it up and see what others feel about it.
