The harsh truth we all need to understand to recover.

Hey guys! One thing I have learned through years of recovery is that recovery isn’t about fighting something, to constantly fence a ”unbeatable” monster. That mindset will only lead you to failure eventually. The same goes with strict routines, like punishing yourself for having an urge. things like cold showers etc is good as a last resort. But it’s even better to not put yourself in that situation at all.

For me recovery goes down to instead building up yourself, instead of ”holding your fort”. Dare to set goals, habits and have ambition in life. And you must realize that porn must go. It might sound cliche, but you gotta want it enough. If you time after time end up using porn, despite doing this, I’m sad to say but something is wrong in your approach. Either you haven't commited enough for kicking porn out of your life equation, or you just aren’t true to yourself.

The harsh reality is that there really are no excuses. ”I was tired, stressed, sad, angry, restless” - it doesn’t matter. Porn can’t be an answer whatsoever.

There is always an option. Talk to someone, seek counseling, reach out, leave social media, etc etc. Not everything is right for everyone, but in order to recover you owe yourself to find that way. If you don’t, don’t get confused when you aren’t recovering.

1. Drop the self-pity and start taking responsibility for yourself. Take care of yourself

2. Realize that porn will NEVER be an option. Close that door. That must be your objective and goal.

3. Dare to dream. Embrace yourself. Don’t compare yourself to other people.

4. Drop the shame. Shame is the main thing which have held me back. Realize that you are awesome and worthy a good life. Shame and guilt is only lies.

5. Seek accountability - and USE it. I reach out often to my AP’s when struggling. It is one of not the MAIN reason for me starting to grip this well finally after years of recovery.

6. Love yourself. Again. EMBRACE the person You are. If you Don’t love or like yourself, it Will be very tough for You to do the same to other people.

7. Stop escaping from life. By numbing yourself with porn or whatever it can be. Face life. For better and for worse.

That was just a lot of thoughts I felt like I wanted to share. Hope you take it right if it feels harsh. But I guess this is a harsh reality. We can’t do this half-hearted and feel sorry for ourselves for not taking any steps, and we can’t rationalize why we fall time after time. There is ONE reason - that your WHY wasn't enough. The groundwork, and most of all the mindset wasn't enough.

The awesome thing is that ALL THAT is in your hand. You are the key here! I believe that everyone can do this. If you only knew how low I was a few years ago, then you’d understand.

There are only two roads. One road to recovery and one road to relapse. The road to recovery is longer, bumpy and a lot tougher but it leads to a future worth fighting for. But go ahead, stay on that wide racing relapse-track which just goes around and around until you completely get out of fuel.

Again - hope you guys take this right. I just felt like sharing this. I believe a lot of people need to hear this. We can't rationalize and justify every relapse, that it was because of this or because of that. It really is black and white in that way. Either you consume porn, or you don't. You steer your "ship", you are in control. Don't blame other circumstances for your relapse.

Instead, dare to take the fight. You are good enough. You are awesome and deserve something better. Don't settle. I believe in you, but most of all believe in yourself.