The darkness of life

We see it on the news, if any of us still care to monitor it. We see it in our feeds, a barrage of terror. Fire spreading so fast that we can feel the heat touch our skin. We may feel as if no one cares, that life is simply indifferent to our calls for help.

I remember so many times in my life where I could curse the sky. To reject faith and to cover it in filth as much as I could. Faith of any kind, even for that of a bright sunny day tomorrow. All I was is ungrateful, whining at any point I didn’t get my way. Even as my body grew along with my mind, my heart and emotions only stayed immature.

We think we have everything inside of ourselves. We either reject it all or believe that we are god. 2 extremes that show just who we are, to reject is to push everything away with fear. To make ourselves king is to take all that fear and turn it on others.

How good of a person could you be if you don’t care, or if you only care about yourself. I may sit here alone more than I would like, but I still feel connected to life. I serve those I am in service of, when I do a job, I do it as right as I can. If I don’t want to do it, if I’m just gonna waste someone’s time. I admit that to myself, so how could I be a being without flaw.

Even if I can’t do a thousand things well, I can do a few beyond an expectation. It’s all because I’m willing to be sore, willing to slice open a finger. Instead of a wave and rush of pleasure that a part of us always felt uneasy about. We can break a sweat and make our minds serve us and quiet down. For the mind leads us to temptations, who we truly are is what drives the choices we make.

Slipping into insanity, letting our minds unravel is a possible outcome.
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