The art of not fapping

I agree it has to be a subconscious thing I just don’t know how to get there and how long it’ll take

 

That's deep.

 

To me the answer is quite simple. How not to fap? You have to have a damn good reason not to.

 

The only thing I find wrong with this is its basic incomprehensibility, unless you focus on each individual sentence and try to figure "What is this guy saying?" I suggest you rewrite it with this in mind and cut it by at least 50%.

 

I second that. Had a hard time following his thought pattern.. some sentences straight up made no sense.

 

I think you have a very ‘rational’ approach to life, rather than a more intuitive and emotional one.

The downside of that is that life doesn’t work that way. The human rational brain tries to understand what it sees, but it can’t. There’s nothing rational about life. Life is full of mysteries and we will never be able to understand even the most basic things in life, such as: why do you get along so well with some and not at all with others?

I think it’s good to realise that the mind is just a tool that can be used for solving practical problems, not to understand things like ‘the meaning of life’ or stuff like that. It’s not rational thoughts that can make you stop fapping, either. For me reading The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle made me realise this. And nowadays I much rather prefer a simple life instead of an unnecessarily ‘complex’ one.

 

Your answer is this:

For an untrained mind the causes seem subcobscious because the mind is not sharp enough to percieve the exact sequence of events (perceptions, feelings, thoughts, bodily sensations) from a non-participary viewpoint that lead to the act of fapping. Since you were feeding on these events, you identified with them. Only after the deed is done do you realize what happened. The "urge" is so strong you cannot stop the sequence, you clearly still enjoy the process. This means that for your mind, the process is still seen as a source of food.

Sharpen the mind. Make it sensitive and focussed. Train it to be mindfull at all times and to feed on the breadth instead of other things. Then you will clearly see what happens.

 

Heeem interesting

So youtube ban nofap at the same time porn actress is free to make a content on youtibe here and there...
This is why i trust in nofap, becase the truth is often being tried to shut by some organization or ppl

Funny how thoose people is based on freedom of speech yet the "speech" is only for what they like

 

Interesting. can you provide examples for the terms "easy" and "complex" life?

 

Complex:
people create lots of needs and problems in their head. In reality, the only things you need are food, water, shelter/safety and maybe some love. But they think they absolutely NEED to buy that house or car, finish that degree, their reputation, or whatever. In reality it’s just a hobby, just an occupation, not really so extremely important as they believe it to be.

This society is generally obsessed with achieving things in a future. I’m not saying to just lie on the couch all day, but realise that it’s not the most important things and take it much more lightly. Enjoy it more. ‘Grim determination’ is how my inspiration Modern Milarepa called it.

Easy:
I recently hit another car with mine, damage was €1200. I actually don’t give a shit about this, I’m happy that I didn’t crush my leg but that it’s only money. Also when it already happened there’s nothing you can do about it anyway so no choice but to leave it behind.

Also during my internship I realised that I hate an office job so I will stay taxi driver for the time being. And some people would then ask if it’s my ‘real’ job, and I tell them: ‘yes this is my real job, I’ll do it for the rest of my life and I have no goals for my future because I already have everything I need and I am happy.’ And then they are confused and jealous and shocked at the same time.

 

Thank you for that post. I will think about it

 

What if you can have an insight without worrying about the level of analysis or where it comes from?

This is basically what happens when people meditate sometimes, it's also what can happen along the path of addiction recovery.

In some spiritual circles they talk about self inquiry. That's the thing you ultimately have to understand or "get", yourself, not theories and frameworks that may help but specifically you and your own life experience right?

In The Shallows: What The Internet Is Doing To Our Brains Nicholas Carr relates:

Think about our context with PMO. It's technologically enabled. What do we do? We count days - that's calculative. Some people even has some timeline that is supposed to say what happens on what day of a streak without qualifying for age or anything. The metaphor of "rebooting" is itself a technological one. In contrast this quote is basically pointing to how this is not our human nature, and that we may be moving further away from it as evidenced by this "mode" of thinking as if it's the only one. Meditation itself is reduced to a task that's only measured by the amount of time spent.

Also, calculative thinking is not exactly an art. We can try to approach it scientifically and quantify things, but that takes a huge amount of work even for just one individual, it doesn't look like anyone is really tracking in nearly that much detail. Instead of a single day count it would be a whole booklet of statistics if that's the case, and even if someone were to describe it mathematically it would probably way too complex so that hardly anybody would try to apply it or just ignore a bunch of necessary details. For that matter if someone proved mathematically long abstinence streaks in itself doesn't guarantee sobriety (two different things) nobody would probably look at the proof if they could even comprehend it.

If we're not looking at it in terms of calculative thinking, it may not be a matter of having an answer at all like the number 42. But we may have something better: Perspective. While it may not be exact in a precise way we would also be more likely to 'see' those life factors that are indirect and arrived at in a non-linear way. From this perspective the calculative approach starts looking like a sophisticated way of intellectually banging your head against the wall.