Yesterday marked my two year milestone of abstinence from the sin of PMO. Please Dear Lord accept my thanks for your merciful intervention in my life. Shortly, after I came to this sight, Mr. Eko, reached out to me from the Catholic forum and shared a very wise and practical plan that helped me greatly. I owe him so much! (if you are interested, search for "My Catholic Method" by Mr. Eko). I also wish to thank Tao Jones of the Christian forum, he has walked this road and his wisdom has been extremely helpful. I have been graced with the friendship of so many others since joining these groups. I thank you one and all; contributing here and being inspired by other contributors has been one of the key components of my journey. Thanks everyone for your inspiration and your prayers. I include everyone struggling for freedom from this sin in my prayers. May God Bless you each and every one.
Praise the Lord for the milestone you have achieved, brother! It's good that we have some people here like you who can serve as an inspiration. I hope to learn from people like you especially that I still continue to struggle with relapses. May God bless you.
Please understand, there is nothing special about me. The success I have found in avoiding this sin is entirely thanks to the ongoing intervention of our Lord. Truly, I have proven through hundreds, perhaps thousands, of failed attempts to quit PMO that I am simply not strong enough to do this on my own. I gave a bit of thought to how I might explain what has changed for me from times past. I hope the following is helpful. I am an analytical person and I frequently consider why it took me so long to find success in my attempt to quit this sin. I had almost all of the ingredients for a successful rehabilitation for my entire adult life. Why couldn't I overcome the desire to sin sooner? When I rigorously compare my practices today with those of the past, I see these things are different. (1) Most of my prayer in the past was done while I was doing something else (ex. driving, walking to the train station, etc.) Today, I pray daily with eyes closed, in silent communication with God. I have realized that without the Holy Trinity, I can accomplish nothing worthwhile and thus when I fail to pray, I am walking on a high wire in a strong breeze. Daily, heartfelt, sincere prayer cannot be omitted if one is to stay free. (2) I visit this site almost daily. This is my access to group therapy and counseling. (3) My lifestyle has changed. I am no longer living with constant, debilitating work related stress. The stress made me feel sorry for myself - a dangerous place to be. I don't believe we can live our lives stress free, but I do believe we need to rigorously eschew any and all self pity. (4) I have accepted God's forgiveness. Until this reboot, I refused to relinquish my guilt and shame because I felt these were essential deterrents to sinning again. Finally, I recognized I was completely wrong about this. Constant shame was too heavy a burden and it led to despair and more failures rather than sobriety.
