Terrified of the thought of never having a girlfriend. don't know what love feels like.

So I need to get this off my chest since it has bothering me for a long time. I'm a 24 year old dude. Virgin, never been in a relationship. Early in my upbringing is when I started to get "interested" in a very bizarre fetish, which basically a fat fetish but involves both genders. It has always been a part of my life. I would only edge to that, for hours every single day. I'm 23 days clean now, i get urges every now and then but it's easy to manage. Thoughts pop in my mind but I don't mind them. Only thing that bothers me is the gay thoughts of the videos I watched before attempting nofap. My arousal template is completely altered and I cannot get off to anything else besides this fetish.

i seriously want to date, but feels like my past comes to haunt me. I don't know what to do, I feel like I'm only into this fetish and a normal woman wouldn't be able to do anything for me. I don't know what love feels like, I don't know how to approach women. Still a beginner when it comes to that. I hate it so much. I mean I'm not unattractive ugly at least I hope so but I think I consumed so much fetish porn to the point where my reward system is numbed and doesn't know what else I'm into. Whenever I see a man or woman on the streets that resembles the people in the porn videos that I saw, i get dirty thoughts and end up looking at them in a sexual way and my mind tries to convince me that this is what I'm only into. I'm scared of never changing and scared of never finding love. I hate this fetish so much man I don't know what to do. I turned to god to become a better man but my past comes to haunt me. All I want is a normal girlfriend, Marry and have kids, as if that's too much to ask for. Any help? Has anyone ever gotten rid of a fetish they know they had even before discovering porn?

 

Yeah I'll take a look ... I mean what else can I do

 

What would you Say to your 24 year old self? Any advice man? I'm so terrified