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Telling Myself It's Not Hard

Discussion in 'Self Improvement' started by Death Mammal, May 3, 2016.

  1. May 3, 2016 #1
    Death Mammal

    Death Mammal Fapstronaut

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    I don't know about anyone else, but I feel like if I tell myself that this goal isn't difficult, particularly when the feeling rises, the weight of the stress tends to wear more quickly. Then, the intensity fades. It seems like just by allowing myself to think that this process isn't difficult makes it less difficult.

    It seems easy enough, but when it starts to feel overwhelming, it can almost look impossible. Then again, thinking calmly how it's just a matter of time, that I've done this before, and how it's not much of a big deal... That odd discomfort tends to give way quicker than it began.

    I figure that if there were a nofap elixir, it would be 40% determination, 30% keeping it chill, 20% patience, and 10% knowing and avoiding the boundaries. I'm near positive I'm not the only one who tries to picture nofap as effortless. I'm also thinking I'm not the only one who tries to picture how me succeeding over an urge looks like so that I act upon that notion. I know it's only been a few days, but this has also been my first attempt/streak since joining nofap, and it's also been my first intentional streak in years. However, I don't intend to break ever. Despite having a 120 day timer, it's not a temporary shift but a change in life style. I don't ever intent to P or M ever again. It's that straightforward. I am the master of my own actions. Each moment doesn't carry the weight of every future desire, just the one of the present... and I am the one at that moment, for every moment, who chooses to say no.
     
    Death Mammal, May 3, 2016
    Death Mammal, May 3, 2016
    #1
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  2. May 3, 2016 #2
    Deleted Account

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    Very true. Your mind plays tricks on you... which is the nature of addiction... just this evening I was driving somewhere.. and my mind got the better of me... I was yearning... swooning... savoring some future sexual encounter... it made the present moment unbearable... but then I thought wait a moment: "What is actually wrong with this moment right here right now?" ... and the answer was obvious: absolutely nothing... the worst actual physical discomfort PMO withdrawal produces is at certain times is a tiny little pain... that 'maddening' pain in my groin?... if I really focus on it... it has the intensity of lightly pressing a finger nail from one hand on the other... can i bear that? hell yes! ...yet according to our mind we roll around in a crumpled fetal position like a hysterical soccer player in the death throes of terminal agony... the truth is if you actually live in the moment... (which means turn off the theater in your mind and pay attention to yourself and the world) ... it is not so bad.. it is easy…

    You are not your thoughts you are not your emotions: you are awareness.
     
    Deleted Account, May 3, 2016
    Deleted Account, May 3, 2016
    #2
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  3. May 3, 2016 #3
    Buzz Lightyear

    Buzz Lightyear Fapstronaut

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    Actually, I was thinking this same thing today. If you keep building it up and thinking how hard this is, well, no surprise if you fail.

    When you think of it as no big deal, you are also more likely to calmly face it.
     
    Buzz Lightyear, May 3, 2016
    Buzz Lightyear, May 3, 2016
    #3
  4. May 5, 2016 #4
    Deleted Account

    Deleted Account Guest

    Words of wisdom right there
     
    Deleted Account, May 5, 2016
    Deleted Account, May 5, 2016
    #4
  5. May 6, 2016 #5
    Deleted Account

    Deleted Account Guest

    I feel the same way. The harder I imagine for it to be the harder it actually becomes, so as other way around. It's our mind that creates our reality. Personally for me tho not thinking about it at all works even better. So that's something I am trying to do. But if you gotta think of it the definitely make sure it's in a positive, encouraging kind of way.
     
    Deleted Account, May 6, 2016
    Deleted Account, May 6, 2016
    #5
  6. Jun 12, 2016 #6
    Chefbass

    Chefbass Fapstronaut

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    I too feel the same way. I have been p free for almost 5 years and M for over 3 months. as soon as I feel like I'm losing the battle I keep reminding myself to stop and think of the consequences. a little pleasure now for a long term pain. it's not worth it anymore. I deserve better than that. my wife and kids deserve a better me. I can do it. and so can anybody else. there is always things to work on and sometimes I have to get my head out of the sand and be a man.
     
    Chefbass, Jun 12, 2016
    Chefbass, Jun 12, 2016
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  7. Jun 12, 2016 #7
    Deleted Account

    Deleted Account Guest

    For me, I just focus more on my strength, along the lines of, don't ask for it to be easy, ask for a stronger shoulder.
     
    Deleted Account, Jun 12, 2016
    Deleted Account, Jun 12, 2016
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