I'm 27 and have been masturbating regularly since I was 13, until recent years I've barely even stopped to question it. I've always had a high sex drive, but I've realised I'm addicted to orgasms and use them as a release, just as I used to use tobacco and cannabis. Sometimes the sessions waste hours at a time only ending when my penis is red and sore. Porn has only compounded the problem and distorted my expectations of my wife, from whom my entire world of masturbation and porn is a complete secret. My wife has been going through some health problems over the last 7 months and this has made our sex life almost non existent, which has only caused me to retreat further into my habit. Now I am masturbating at work, and when my wife is downstairs, also late at night when she is asleep next to me. I am up late, shattered in the morning and late for work. I met my wife when we were both young, we grew up together, she is my first and only sexual partner. We got married and however cliche this sounds it was the happiest day of our lives. I just want to be able to appreciate her for the beautiful woman she is, instead of silently using her as a scapegoat for my addiction and blaming my over-active sex drive on her lack of libido, all the while secretly storing resentment. I quit smoking for good and have never looked back, it's time to do the same with PMO. I masturbate multiple times, almost every single day, now I want that time back, to achieve the things I want, to give more time to my life and my love. I want to live my real life, instead of being bewitched by my fantasy one. If you have made it this far through my ramble I thank you from the bottom of my heart for giving me your time and patience, I can tell this community is full of loving and giving, I could never have imagined before that such a rich and open support network existed. love and gratitude
Gwynne: I feel your pain and understand. The victory starts first in your mind and by reinforcing the decision moment by moment so that you begin living your expectations. There will be setbacks, but in the end you can experience the victory. I think we all have to come to the point that we realize that we need God to give us the strength, for in ourselves we just can't do it on our own. Take a look at this website. You may find some resources that will help you. All the best on your journey, my friend!
Gwynne: God bless and thanks for sharing that. I am new to this site and always felt alone in my struggle. It wasn't till recently I realized how much masturbation disrupts my life. 3 yrs ago I got out of a relationship because I knew that the only thing keeping me with the girl that I could not stand was sex. I prayed for strength to leave her and to find a relationship based off of true love and compatibility and not sex. Finally it happened and in July of 2011 I met the perfect girl! She was a virgin who was waiting for marriage. which to me meant that I had no choice but to get to know her for the real her. She is amazing and I truly do love her but it did not prevent me from distorting my thoughts of her by watching porn and masturbation. I got her into foreplay and even then it didn't satisfy my urge and I started lusting for other women. I would never cheat on her but I have put my self in many close situation just because of my urges. I also urge to be closer with God spiritually and feel like this lusting holds me back. I don't want my relationship to be based off sex because I know that when she doesn't want to "play" then I'm in a bad mood. I can't let it ruin how I see and treat her. I refuse to lose her and so I decided to try this. Sorry for the long story but I keep this a secret for a long time. Just need somewhere to let it out. Thanks for reading
It is amazing when we stop and consider how much we have let masturbation disrupt our life. Your story is a little different but like me you are struggling with secretly objectifying your loved one as a sex outlet when they are much more. I also lust for other women but would never cheat on my wife as she deserves much more than that, however this does mean all these urges and frustration end up channelling themselves into... that's right, fap fap Which is better than actually carrying out the urges but far from relieving them it actually feeds and perpetuates them, getting more and more deeply entrenched in this fantasy world. Not healthy. I wish you all the luck, you sound like a decent person and obviously love her very much, in the end, love always wins keep smiling.
I can really empathy your situation, PMO is also a problem in my life that I am trying to get rid off! I think the best for us to do is to learn about the effect PMO on our brain! What I learn PMO addiction is just our dopamine that is not in balance!
