Suffering

I’ve looked at every kind of porn under the sun (18+ of course), and have been doing so since I was about 10y.o. I still remember my first hardcore Santa Claus scene - that really f***d up Xmas for me from then on....
26 yeats later, still fapping like there is no tomorrow. I’ve tried to stop so many times.... I’ve now gone 12 days and am absolutely suffering. My brain has grown up and developed with some much fapamine I am literally having physical symptoms. I’m in physical pain with numb leg and sore back....I have continual thoughts of “f****ng” women continually at work, porn music and videos play over and over in my head.... am having filthy dreams too. I want to give in.....

 

Thanks guys for the responses. I'm still going strong, although have had a couple of moments where I've wanted to just flop it out and have a tug. There is one woman at work in particular whom I always have a flirt with; banging her is playing over and over in my head.

In the past I probably would've looked at porn and found a similar looking woman to her to flog over...just to move past it.... I am now always trying to see where she is in the warehouse when I walk on by, and she gives me a naughty grin (at least in my head it is).... just need to leave it alone and get on with it. No fapping, eliminate the thoughts. No porn.

One thing I've noticed is I feel, even though I'm having these urges, super powerful and confident. Dominating conversations, broad shouldered and more confident. I feel my mind is a little clearer, but today I feel very tired though, probably due to the fact I am struggling to sleep (would fap over porn on the iPhone and then go to sleep in the recent past).

By the way, I thought that series Hot Girls Wanted would put me off.... it did for a bit, then I searched for the girls in the doco and flogged to them! LoL! I then said (now 14 days ago) I've got to do something to get out of this! To Change!

 

Thanks bud.... 50 days no porn? wow!

 

I’m still going! Occasionally it gets hard, especially if I’m stressed, or angry, or have met some female that is giving me some attention (it all typically comes down to fantasising about getting in her pants).....