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Struggling with Rewiring. NEED HELP

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Varun082013, Nov 1, 2022.

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  1. Nov 1, 2022 #1
    Varun082013

    Varun082013 Fapstronaut

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    Hi All,
    During 2013-2021, I used to masturbate 3 days in a week and each session last for 3-4 hours(sex chats, soft core videos and 1-2 hr of porn) and I complete the orgasm by watching the perfect scene. Because of this, I never ejaculated inside my ex wife.
    My nofap journey started Sep 2021 when I was unable to perform with wife and got divorced. I went on to hard mode in streaks of 84 days, 32 days, 56 days, 70 days, 20 days,30 days. First three streaks ended by masturbating with feeling and no imagination. Subsequent streaks usually ends by masturbation with imaginary thoughts, kissing scenes, cuddling scenes in YouTube and I did relapse 2-3 times by watching porn in last 1 year but never binged porn and came back to senses after ejaculation. Watching YouTube videos was also not planned and it just happened. The problem is I dont have girl in my life and for last 1 month, watching YouTube videos and masturbation increased such that I masturbate 2 times in a week. I am also being overconfident as I completed 1 year with almost no porn. I can say that delayed ejaculation is cured now as I come within 2-3 mins. I can't say am cured completely as I am yet to have sex.

    I am from India where getting girls is not that easy for casual sex / relationship and am still trying my luck to pick up girls in pubs.Please suggest what are the things I can do for rewiring as I don't want to get addicted to YouTube videos and that might lead to porn later . Also please answer below questions
    1) I am thinking of buying a flesh light and practice with that.
    2) Few days back, I tried to masturbate in toilet(I usually do in bed room) without any fantasies or imagination and unable to get Erection. I usually fantasise on cuddling, kissing and not porn. Do you think I still have problem as I am unable to get erection without fantasy?
    3)Anyone tried masturbating with literally zero thoughts on sex? Please try it and let me know if you are in soft mode of reboot?
     
    Varun082013, Nov 1, 2022
    Varun082013, Nov 1, 2022
    #1
  2. Nov 1, 2022 #2
    Haberdasher

    Haberdasher Fapstronaut

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    My recommendation would be to stop looking at sexy videos and stop masturbating. I know that sucks, but it doesn't sound to me like you're getting clean, it sounds like you're trying to control your addiction.

    I don't know you. And I don't live in India. So I can't speak to exactly what you're dealing with. But buying pocket pussies and masturbating robotically doesn't sound like a good way to live.

    I know this sounds flippant, but I don't mean it that way. Can you get out of India? There are tons of chicks in the west. If you can come to America and get a decent job you can find a woman. Can you emigrate?

    Life is hard. Incel life is hard. A disproportionate male/female ratio is really hard. I'm sorry you're in this situation. But I don't think flashlights and fantasies will fulfill you. Only living a real life will.

    As for how to do that, check out my thread on steps I recommend. Some of them might help you.

    https://forum.nofap.com/index.php?t...vice-to-change-your-life.338310/#post-3444364

    Good luck.
     
    Haberdasher, Nov 1, 2022
    Haberdasher, Nov 1, 2022
    #2
    mentorr likes this.
  3. Nov 2, 2022 #3
    Varun082013

    Varun082013 Fapstronaut

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    Thank you for your kind words bro. When I read your reply, I realised how determined and motivated when I started nofap last year and now it's slowly decreased and making excuses now to fap to kissing or sexual videos. Unfortunately I cannot immigrate to US but have plans to go to Europe after 6 months.
    I have started 60 day challenege today and hopefully that would cure the damage I did for last 1 month.

    I am also planning to visit sexologist as I had anxiety and non-compatibilty issues when I tried to have sex with ex wife. Luckily we have got few of psychiatrists who don't support the "Masturbation and porn are normal"
    Can you help with me points 2) and 3)? Whats your opinion on that
     
    Varun082013, Nov 2, 2022
    Varun082013, Nov 2, 2022
    #3
  4. Nov 2, 2022 #4
    Haberdasher

    Haberdasher Fapstronaut

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    What are your questions about points 2 and 3? I'll try to respond.
     
    Haberdasher, Nov 2, 2022
    Haberdasher, Nov 2, 2022
    #4

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