struggling with depression and loneliness

You've done a great thing already, I think, by quitting porn for over 90 days. That shows you do have incredible willpower. Maybe you can channel that willpower into other things in your life. Maybe there's one thing you could do a day to help you toward your life goal. Like, IDK, apply for one job a day, or try to make casual conversation with one person a day. I've also found that there's always time in the day to do, say, 30 pushups. When that becomes easy, 40, etc.

I'm in the same boat as you--unsure how to go from big goals to results. Breaking it down probably helps.

 

our condition is nearly same

 

i will not hide anything
actually my streak is just regarding masturbation
but now i have also quit porn

 

That depression and loneliness has been with you for a long time. You kept neglecting and numbing them via porn and other forms of escapism. So the depression and loneliness stayed about the same or maybe grew larger, but your ability to develop your reality and handle problems became weaker because you've conditioned yourself to escape those things.

You said that you have big dreams, but no drive.

When starting something it can be scary, difficult, and uncertain. You start out incompetent and insecure about it. It takes repeated courage to gain competence and repeated competence to gain confidence.... but you can't gain that competence and confidence without starting and going through that difficult and uncomfortable process.

A lot of people with big dreams want the results and rewards, but they don't want the necessary process that it takes to get there. They want the ripped body, but they don't want the long hours at the gym and strict nutrition. They want a girlfriend, but aren't willing to deal with the tension and risks of the dating world. They want to be an entrepreneur, but they don't want the 80+ hours of overtime each week.

You don't become someone like Michael Phelps or Kobe Bryant without making the difficult process your everyday lifestyle. It's a pain that they're willing to sustain. It's the problems that they want to solve. The results, rewards, and realized dreams are just natural consequences of the life and person that they've built. So a more accurate set of questions of what you want to achieve in life is... What pain are you willing to sustain? What's something more important than the outcome? What am I willing to do everyday despite the fact that it might not work in the end?

You're not always going to be motivated to do something scary and difficult. If someone you're interested in walked into the room, the moment to act is usually uncomfortable and uncertain rather than a feel good motivation. Wanting instant gratification is what leads people to porn in the first place. Escaping from the necessary pain, problems, and negative experiences that leads to a better life.

So the next time that you're procrastinating on your goals because you're not motivated to do so, it probably means you want the rewards rather than the journey of actually getting there. You're not willing to sustain that pain and you're not interested in solving those problems. You don't want that tension, risk, discomfort, and uncertainty that leads to growth.

Big dreams aren't realized by some big motivated leap of action. They're created by small daily actions over a long period of time. So small that you think you can neglect them and do something that feels better and more motivating at the moment (porn).

Lots of people can work on their goals when they feel happy and energetic, but it's usually the ones that work on their goals even when they don't feel like it that actually accomplishes those goals. You don't need to add more days to your counter before taking action. It's supposed to be difficult and uncomfortable. Resisting that reality with the delusion that everything should be easy, certain, and instantly gratifying is what leads to procrastination.

 

you need goals/objectifs to achieve your dreams bro, you see the top of the mountain but not the journey, good luck pal

 

Hy buddy,

Why don't you try to read books? read about interesting great figures in history! read about a man who changed the whole world in just 25 years or so? It will inspire you and give you hope and contentment.

Remember you are not alone with this