NoFap

  1. Welcome to NoFap! We have disabled new forum accounts from being registered for the time being. In the meantime, you can join our weekly accountability groups.
    Dismiss Notice

stopped watching porn 3 months ago still feeling anxiety and guilt

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by livingsoberyes, Nov 12, 2015.

  1. Nov 12, 2015 #1
    livingsoberyes

    livingsoberyes New Fapstronaut

    2
    2
    3
    I stopped watching porn 3 momths ago..i was watching transsexyal porn for like 5 years... I stopped because i was getting into femboy, CD, and just barely legal type of amateur transsexual porn. I felt shame for this because i thought i was crossing over from just transsexual porn to barely legal type and i didnt know where it would go from there..but the shame didnt stop there. I was feeling shame whenever i would encounter children in public or even if i was in a closed room with someone and they would start talking about their kids or children.. I would just ve overcome with this overwhelming feelings of shame and guilt.. I would even blush a lot. It was so akward and stressful.. I sought help from a psychiatrist . I stopped watching porn and ive been dating actual girls.. Some of whom ive told about this.. Some of them get it amd some of them dont.. Ive talked with some good men in my life too who kind of get it but they accept me anyway.. My friend actually gets it and understands that it is some feeling that because i watched so much porn that my brain was clouded with immoral images that i began to feel guilty in the presence of innocense..(the children).. But this all seemed so complicated for me to be having these borderline panic attacks.. It has gotten a little better since ive talked to her about this..but we had a fall out in our connection since i stopped talking to her.. And then i felt out on my own again and trying to get into a new relationship with a girl and not having explained this to her yet..has been making this difficult.. Anyway i talked to my friend again and she showed me a little strength and understanding and encouragement.. That strength provides me a great amount of relief.. My dilemma is that i need to understand why i am so guilty and shameful.. Amd how can i recover from this
     
    Last edited: Nov 13, 2015
    livingsoberyes, Nov 12, 2015
    livingsoberyes, Nov 12, 2015
    #1
    PotentLife likes this.
  2. Nov 12, 2015 #2
    g2stop

    g2stop Fapstronaut

    2,672
    2,242
    143
    build relationships and dont go back to PMO then you will heal
     
    g2stop, Nov 12, 2015
    g2stop, Nov 12, 2015
    #2
    JoePineapples likes this.
  3. Nov 12, 2015 #3
    g2stop

    g2stop Fapstronaut

    2,672
    2,242
    143
    If you need therapy then this is something you should consider
     
    g2stop, Nov 12, 2015
    g2stop, Nov 12, 2015
    #3
  4. Nov 12, 2015 #4
    PotentLife

    PotentLife Fapstronaut

    861
    1,380
    123
    My Journal
    Congratulations for having the courage to face this and confess it here.

    Your unwanted fantasies are actually the products of anxiety and guilt, and your anxiety and guilt are products of your unwanted fantasies. This is known as a vicious circle. If you let go of one, you can let go of the other.

    The opposite of anxiety is calm. The opposite of guilt is innocence. Could you imagine yourself feeling calm and innocent? What kind of environment might you choose in your mind to help aid you in these positive feelings?

    I choose this one.

    [​IMG]

    Could you let go of any lingering guilt and shame, just for now?

    And could you let go of it even more?

    And just a little bit more?

    Notice if anything has changed - if there are any new feelings.

    Guilt and shame are based on your body and emotions saying no to your value and your deservingness of love. So try saying yes to the guilt and shame. Could you just say Yes to it, just for now, and see if the No within it disappears even the slightest bit?

    The Yes doesn't mean that you want more of it. It means you are opening up a part of you that so far has been closed off to improvement.

    And could you say Yes to it just a little more?

    And just a little more?

    Notice times when you don't feel guilt and shame. When you notice, realize that if you are free of it now, you can be free of it forever by repeating the same basic process that allows you to be free of it now.

    Feeling calm and innocence deep within yourself is a habit you can grow. You can make the feelings bigger and deeper by collecting images, songs, writings. You can dance in your own privacy in a way that helps you to connect with these feelings. You can smile at yourself in the mirror in a way that magnifies your sense of calm and innocence. If you do any of these things often enough, you might find yourself doing it spontaneously.

    These are just a few techniques that I've learned. There are endless techniques. Look up The Sedona Method, The Release Technique, Emotional Freedom Technique. Meditation has helped some people. Lifting weights has helped me to get over some slightly sissy urges I've had, for obvious reasons.

    If you can let go of shame and guilt, you can let go of the fantasies that are shaped by a shame of your sexuality and you can embrace the fullness of your authentic manhood.
     
    Last edited: Nov 13, 2015
    PotentLife, Nov 12, 2015
    PotentLife, Nov 12, 2015
    #4
    JoePineapples likes this.
  5. Nov 13, 2015 #5
    livingsoberyes

    livingsoberyes New Fapstronaut

    2
    2
    3
    Thabks guys for replying.. I appreciate the suggestions and have taken some into consideration.. Actually as i typed theboriginal thread, i was in my psychologists waiting room. I talked to him and was able to figure out that these embarrassing feelings were due to sexual experiences that i had as a child 6 years old and 13.. He said having sexual experiences that young planted a seed in my brain, telling me that those experiences at that age was okay.. But i know now that it is not okay and wrong.. But i believe there is still a small part of my brain that remembers the positive feeling of those sexual experiences.. So my psychologist said i have ro train the whole of my brain to understand that that was wrong.. That was a negative experience... Its going to take more therapy and understanding.. In the meantime i continue to build relationships with women and go to the gym and study foreign language and attdnd a.a. meetings with my friends...those are the positive things in my life that help me grow as a better more spiritual person.. If there is someone reading this and going through a toigh confusing time i just want to say stay in the light.. Don't go toward the darkness. And find someone that can help you. And I LOVE YOU! Keep reading and searching inside yourself for the good.. If you don't believe in a higher power/God or spirit.. Please just borrow mine for a day... Pray to him.. Ask him to guide you into the positice light.. If it does not work you can give him back to me.. But don't give up.
     
    livingsoberyes, Nov 13, 2015
    livingsoberyes, Nov 13, 2015
    #5
    PotentLife likes this.

Share This Page