Stop looking for answers.

I do this routine myself, I frustrate myself by asking about life. I seek the opinion of another who doesn’t know. Who in fact has no idea what I want, what I truly want out of this experience. You feel better when another man orders you around. Connecting the dots that were already laid out. It’s no wonder why we have so many people who can’t even get out of bed. So many guys bitching about women, finding as many excuses to climb like a ladder. The end road is this sad rejection of them, when it’s obvious we all want that sort of love we think is just in movies or stories. We say we are better people when we choose to destroy family and jerk ourselves into addiction. No wonder we can’t stand for anything unless it just gives us a tug. We are scared of porn, treating it like this sickness we can’t help but to indulge in. Drugs being bad just makes you want them more. Oh it’s so dangerous and destructive, no it’s pathetic. Ever seen a junkie digging into his skin? Slurring and saying all this nonsense. How about I put the camera on you and show it back to you. I don’t even think you want to be a better person. I think life has just made it so being a loser is appealing. Saying “hey, why improve, when you can simply be what you are” if you believed that, you deserve to feel bad for it not working. Every time you ask yourself “what am I doing wrong” you should give yourself a hard smack. You know what to do, you know what’s bad for you. You know what is destroying your brain, so don’t be a 50 year old man still making the same mistake. Alone and bitter, staring at the young girls that look at you like a parasite. Hopefully you don’t stick around that long to just be another one of these anchors holding us behind. If you think I’m just a whiny douche, good because it’s something. Why sit here and jerk you off, saying things are gonna be okay. It’s all fucked up and as each day passes we look more and more like failures. I’m not waiting around for robots to fix us, I’m not giving up on being with someone who gives a shit about me. If you do, then just sit there and shut up and wait.