Still no luck after 2 years.

I am presuming you see yourself as an addict? You sound like one to me but just checking, not everyone does. There is nothing wrong with you, recovery takes time and a lot of action. For me I didn't really get anywhere until I became willing to let it go in all its forms including my thinking, I don't mean I never have those thoughts but I don't engage with them or create new thoughts off of them. Just bat it away as I know that it leads to PMO for me. I also had to be willing to let go of MO too, that was a really big one to let go of, I had so much attachment to it. It does not mean I don't slip here and there. Like recently after 51 days, the thing is now I get straight back on recovery rather than getting caught back up in it.

A good question to ask yourself is are you willing to let it go? if not why not. When is enough? is another good one.

Having the realization that I could never satisfy that part of myself, it would always want more at some stage, sooner rather than later usually. I realized that it was a bottomless pit that would just keep stripping me of my energy, confidence, self worth and the rest. It will just keep taking to no end. Enough was enough. Also seeing the positive effect a long hard mode streak (130 days) I realized how much damage I had been doing to myself over the years really motivated me to carry on. I would love to see what I am like after 6 months or 1 year, that does motivate me.

So when is enough, enough? How much are you willing to trade for a quick tickle? When the scales start tipping in that direction mentally you will start finding more success.

All that been said some people would say that you need to address the past, particularly childhood and have some therapy to sort out the underline reasons for addiction. I think it is a bit of both.

I hope you find your stride and things start going in the right direction for you. All the best and never quit.

 

I'm not perfect but a lot better then i was a few years ago and have a few thoughts for you. These are things that have helped me out. Maybe one of them can spur some ideas for you.

1. Stop counting days. It's not like you reach a certain day and you're magically cured. I've stopped counting days and have been able to build up longer streaks by not counting days. The important thing to me is being able to check "yes" in my daily journal to the question "Did I avoid porn today?" I had to count the days recently to learn I was over a month long streak of not watching porn. I honestly had no idea i was at that many days.
2. If you're going to count days, set small goals. Everyone says they want to reach 60, 90, or 120 days. But that time frame can seem daunting. If you can get to 3 days, set a goal for 3 days. At the end of that 3 days, set another goal for 4 days. You accomplish those 2 goals and you're at a week already. Keep doing that and the weeks will add up to months.
3. Keep a journal for yourself. I started writing down how i was feeling before and after watching porn. This helped me discover my biggest root cause for porn which was boredom. I work from home and the last 2 weeks of the month can be slow so with the journal i found that I watched porn more often towards the end of the month and it was around the same time of the day during work. Now that i know this, when that time of the day is coming around I am a little more aware of my thoughts and how to avoid porn.
4. Don't be too hard on yourself for a relapse. Sure we would all love to say "I quit porn today" and never look at it again after that. Unfortunately progress is never a straight line to success. I am guessing after a relapse you have thoughts similar to "I'm a loser. My life stinks. What is wrong with me?" and lots of other negative thoughts. I've been there and can't tell you how many times i thought that way. Take this opportunity to figure out why you watched porn (see how the journal helps in #3), what triggered you and come up with a plan to beat that trigger.
5. If you have health insurance through your job, check and see if they cover therapy sessions. My insurance will give me 6 free sessions per year. Last year I had an issue (non porn related) and was developing a lot of anger from it. Using those free sessions i was able to work through my anger. After that I became a big fan of therapy and the benefits it can have for you.

 

We all struggle, and I'm happy whenever I can achieve a long PMO-free streak. The reality is that I always relapse. I've been here since 2015 and my longest streak that I can remember is 57 days. The good news is, 57 days PMO free compared to my habit of watching porn for hours EVERY day makes the time away from PMO seem like a huge accomplishment.

Here's the big question that may help you, Why do you watch porn and masturbate? I'm not talking about the dopamine rush that you get from these activities, I'm talking about what is WRONG with your life that the best option for you is to PMO and/or MO. If you can answer what is wrong with your life, and if you are willing to change it, then you will find putting together a longer streak is easier.

For me, my issues with my life are that I have been in jobs that I didn't like, but they paid the bills and I can be lonely with a small social life. I'm working on finding a more fulfilling job and doing things to improve my social life. If I can do those 2 things, living without porn should be much easier.

 

1. Do you entertain sexual thought or fantasy during the day?
2. Do you casually use social media? (Facebook, Instagram, Tik Tok, etc.)

I am at 157 days in a row of no PMO, thanks be to God. Unlike what some other people have said in this thread, you don't ever have to act out to PMO again.

 

Very wise words in this thread.

 

In my opinion, the real culprit is the fantasy/lustful thoughts. We can conquer the lustful thoughts with God's help. And then abstinence becomes automatic.

 

2 months after all that time? Dang thats rough. Kudos to sticking around for so long.

 

there isn’t anything wrong with you. The fact is you’re not putting in any effort into recovery. There is no luck involved, you have to put in the work and be willing to sacrifice. 2 years have gone past, is the next 2 years going to be any different?

 

It has not been a consistent time since 2015. 2015 was when I joined, but I left a few times with years between coming back to this site.