Starting over, day 1. Let’s all have a fap-free April

Technically, April 1st is my day one. It is now April 2nd and I, to my surprise, had successfu sex yesterday. Twice!


Well, i didn’t get hard quite as easily as I had been in the past month or so, I had to stroke myself a little bit to keep it up before penetration and switching positions, it didn’t feel the way it should… but I still managed to have sex.


Why does this surprise me?


I relapsed HARD a few days ago. I’m talking porn, dirty chat with strangers, cyber sex, an absolute relapse to my old addiction. It sucks, but it happens. I always doubted whether or not I had an addiction, but it turns out I really do… otherwise I would have no issues abstaining from this crap.


Now, prior to this relapse I decided to go strong with this. I needed a REAL reboot. So I started, almost immediately on day one I met my current girlfriend. On day 20, we had sex for the first time, now… first let me just say that prior to this night, I had almost never been able to have successful sex, I just never could get hard without intense, vigorous, and constant manual stimulation. And if you’ve ever had sex, you know that you need to be more sensitive in order for it to work the way it should.


Now I came to the conclusion why I might have this issue… one word…


PORN


And masturbation, but mostly the devil in disguise that is porn…


I only lost my virginity when i was 21 (i’m now 26) and prior to that, my entire sexual experiences contained my hand, pictures, pornography, and my fantasies.


Perhaps I have completely conditioned myself to be able to only get off to my own hand in a certain way. What was really concerning is that I needed my own touch to get an erection and without touching it, i’d lose my erection almost instantly.


Fast forward to my reboot, which I started in december. I was getting erect just from kissing my current girlfriend! Wow what an improvement. I was blown away. Although, the erections still didn’t last long.


Fast forward to just a week ago, I could hold an erection without even thinking about it, I was having regular sex, and every time I instantly got rock hard and it stayed up!!


My PIED (Porn-Induced erectile dysfunction) was seemingly gone.


Now maybe I got over confident, maybe I felt invincible, but I relapsed hard. Multiple times that day and now I feel like i’m almost at square one again.


To whoever may be reading, does anyone know why this is? Is this normal?


After my relapse my erections seem weak, I don’t get them as easily, and my libido is low. My erections have returned back to an unreliable state.


My solution. 45-60 days hardmode to get back on track before re-introducing sex again with my girlfriend. Hopefully ill be back to where I was in that time frame. Remember it only took me around 20 ish days the first time to be able to have successful sex. I’m still curious how I seemingly lost so much progress so quick.


Maybe i’m just recovering from the relapse and in a week or i’ll be back to where I was?

I’d love to hear your opinions and thoughts.


I’m at the point now where I am obsessively worrying that something might be physically wrong with my penis and I cannot stop touching it to feel for new lumps or bumps, or I think maybe I hurt it during sex and it’s not the porn causing it (yes, I do suffer from OCD and anxiety in the past so maybe this explains my worrying now)


What do you all think? I’d appreciate opinions, and advice