Starting again

We had no naps this weekend, but we were somewhat productive with housework, though could have been more so, but did we want to? Not really.

I also managed to start up doing work on my specialist portfolio that needs to be completed within a year, hopefully less, or else I will potentially end up receiving a pay cut as a reward.

We have had a bit of a tough weekend in terms of sleep, and last night was one of the worst. Very little settled sleep from the little one, and he awoke at an inconvenient time (about an hour before the alarm clock) meaning by the time I went back to sleep, I felt worse when the alarm did go off. Other than sleep deprivation, I'm not doing too bad. I feel quite positive, and I've somehow been fairly productive at work. My fingers are still relentlessly crossed for a better night tonight.

 

Last night was a touch better with the little one. We got arguably more sleep last night, but it was still pretty broken, and the occasional little foot in the back when we eventually put him in our bed with us probably didn't help.

Today isn't too bad though, I have been incredibly tired still, as always it seems, but work has not been stressful, and there haven't been any problems.

I listened to (and am listening to now) a podcast from Porn Free Radio which was the first as we were heading into the Covid pandemic.

I have been listening to a podcast a day for quite a while, and I'm at episode 224 now, which discusses the uncertainty caused by the crisis, but countered it by talking about Earnest Shackleton's failed expedition to Antarctica, where they got stuck in the ice. Facing these incredibly challenging situations though, he managed to tackle adversity and survived for two years with his whole team and lived to tell the tale. Meaning through this pandemic, we can too, and looking at the other side, as we are now, we have.

 

Had a bit of stress this morning at work, with having to deal with a difficult sample that I'd not seen before, and then getting an email from the EQA provider that we had some performance issues recently meaning I had to fill out some root cause analysis forms etc just been a bit rubbish. But I've not had any problems other than that. I got a nice coffee, and chilled out for my lunch in my car with the heating on.

I have higher hopes for this afternoon though. Fingers crossed.

 

This weekend was fairly uneventful, and I spent much of Saturday working on my portfolio but it wasn't really too bad either, and I spent it all with Tan and the kids.

The girls have returned to school and nursery today. Both were very excited about it, and it shows how important friendships and connection is even for (possibly especially for) kids. We have technology of course, to get around problems like lockdown, but nothing really beats seeing people in person. The girls are testament to that, and I'm sure tonight when I get in, I will be told all about them seeing friends again (I doubt they will appreciate the learning they were doing while there, just the games at break time!)

I look forward to talking to them about it.

 

Today is going okay, no stress but pretty tired from a broken sleep as usual, though today feels worse than normal. I'm doing better now, and I've had coffee which hopefully will help some.

I have come for lunch pretty late today as I was side swiped by a meeting I had forgotten about. I was in the middle of doing a job when I got collared for the meeting, meaning I ended up going late for lunch as well as not finishing what I was doing.

I have been busy today figuring out some quality improvements in the lab, so feel quite accomplished with work, which has helped with my tiredness, actually doing something which is tangibly improving things.

The girls were pretty excited to tell me about school yesterday when I got home. It was awesome to hear about how their day went, seeing friends again and finding some sense of normality in life. Hopefully we will all find that again shortly.

 

Today is a tired day. But unfortunately it's also a busy day, so lots to do and not a lot of motivation to actually do it. All I actually want to do is crawl into bed and sleep til tomorrow morning without worrying about the kids, and waking up for the little lad.

The work isn't too difficult though, and not stressful, so it isn't too bad. I would like to be able to get on with some other stuff though, but I doubt that will happen today.

I'm looking forward to the weekend, though we will probably be just as tired then too...

 

I have listened to a podcast each day and made some notes. I post on here and meditate each morning (though I didn't this morning) but I let Tan know about it. I also tell Tan of any triggers I've had through the day, though I know it makes her uncomfortable and sometimes I think she takes the triggers personally, which I hate that it makes her feel.

I haven't been close to acting out. I haven't had many issues. The only persistent issue has been tiredness which is something to be aware of. Today the tiredness has actually made me a little emotionally unstable I think. When Tan got up and we spoke this morning I felt a bit teary. Through the day I've felt close to loosing my temper a couple of times. I'm really not like that usually, I'm a pretty placid guy ordinarily, but today I've been quite up and down.

I've spent my lunch times with a coffee from the coffee shop at work, listening to music and trying to relax. I spend the time writing on nofap as well, but for myself, I try to relax as well. I've been playing a game on my phone as well, which Tan also plays, so something we kind of share.

Every morning when I get up for work, I prepare breakfast and a cup of tea for Tan for when she gets up. The past couple of weeks, I have usually also got up with the little one so Tan can stay in bed a little longer, while I feed him and sort his morning nappy agfter getting everything ready for work. I make a conscious effort daily to try to be helpful.

I know it will, and I appreciate the post, it forced me to reflect a bit more on what I'm doing. I'm proud to say I have been honest about things this week, and I've opened up about how emotional I feel today. Thanks

 

I know, but I appreciate it all the same. I have had a good weekend of recuperation (not so much rest) but I feel much better going to work today and haven't had any issues to note either, emotion or trigger related.

 

Yesterday was manic. Really busy, and a touch stressful. I managed okay though, but left not having completely finished everything I had hoped. Fortunately I can finish them this morning no problem (hopefully).

Last night wasn't too bad with the little one, though I am feeling pretty groggy today making me a bit slow. I've just meditated which has helped a bit though. Hopefully I'll improve as the day goes on though.

 

Today was going better than usual, and then I was foolish enough to say it out loud, which has lead to things getting out of hand. It is now pretty busy, but I needed to get some lunch and a break, so here I am. All of this was set off by some samples showing up late. I then got multiple requests from wards for specimen containers etc and Thursdays are generally busy days as it is. I have asked for a bit of help though, which is not something I used to do.

Hopefully the rest of the day will go okay, but for now I'm practicing some meditation, and trying to chill out before heading back in to the fire...

 

The rest of yesterday went okay. Still busy, but it wasn't quite as manic as the morning, and this morning has been much better.

I am now sat in the waiting room having had my second vaccination against COVID-19. I have to say, as difficult and frustrating as my job is at times, I am lucky through this pandemic to have kept it and to be offered the vaccine as part of my job.

I am very much looking forward to getting home for the weekend though. Hopefully will manage to have some relaxing time, as long as the side effects from this vaccine aren't as bad and tiring as the 1st jab was!

 

Today I can't focus on anything very well. Last night was awful spending most of the night trying to settle a poorly little man. As soon as the girls have gone back to school they have managed to pick up a cold and pass it onto us and the little one. I don't know how these bugs are still going round after lockdown, but school knows how to spread them pretty quick...

So last night was terrible and now we are all incredibly tired and work is about the last place I want to be. Nap time sounds ideal right now, as I am struggling to concentrate and have started to brew a headache. Hopefully tonight will be better

 

Yesterday was much better, though lunch was late due to a service engineer. We got a bit more sleep the last couple nights, but if we had the same as the night before, I would be useless at work.

The past couple of days have been boiling in the lab. There is work being done on the air conditioning meaning that it's been 27C wearing lab coats and face masks, so my mouth is dry as sticks.

Its sunny outside though, which is re-charging me on my lunch! Hopefully there will be sun at the weekend to enjoy, though I expect it will feel cold as it is still only March (saying that, we are already a third of the way into this year... What is happening to time at the moment?!)

 

Today is going better. No stress, not too busy and it's nice out (sunny, warm but blustery). I have to say I'm looking forward to the summer!

I'm also looking forward to going and doing things again. Admittedly, being stuck in has possibly saved us some money, I'd like to be able to just get a bite to eat somewhere as a family, or sit in a beer garden and watch the girls on the swings, or take the family for ice cream somewhere. I'm not as bothered about the big things, just the little things to look forward to.

I am looking forward to big things too, and I'm definitely looking forward to being able to go on holiday, or friends celebrations, but really I just want to go out with Tan and the kids for a meal, or catch up with friends over a pint or a cuppa in a pub or cafe.

Just the little things.

 

This weekend was nice. We didn't do the housework we intended doing but it was nice, and Sunday we had Sunday lunch and I played in the garden with the girls which was good for me and them I think.

Yesterday went well, I had some time off bench so spent the time working on my portfolio. Got a lot still to do on that, but making steady progress now. Feeling much better about it than I did a few months ago, but I still need to do a lot more.

Today is going okay, though I'm pretty damn tired, our own fault for a late night/early morning playing a bloody game together (Tan and I) ...

 

This weekend has been brilliant. We have seen some friends in the garden for the first time in over a year on Sunday. The last time we saw them they had a baby, so our girls still remembered him as a baby, so it was strange for them to stop calling him baby Blake... Was great to see them again though, we just had a coffee and talked but it was refreshing. Hopefully we will be able to do more of it in the coming weeks and months, but today, it's gone from warm spring sunshine to freezing midwinter snow showers...

 

Today has been a bit stressful at work, as my centrifuge has broken (no that's not a euphemism...), meaning I have to transport all of my stuff back and forth to Microbiology... Not the end of the world, but it's irritating. I think it's done it because I mentioned a while back that it's never had any problems.

Last night was hard work again, as has the last couple of nights, leaving both Tan and I a bit worse for ware this morning. I was a bit dazed showering and getting ready for work tbh.

Otherwise though, everything is pretty good. Only a 3 day week again, although the weather is promising to be cold and potentially snowy still. Kind of what should be expected from the weather bipolar month of April