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Starting a (very long) nofap journey

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by CoolCat92, Sep 18, 2017.

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  1. Sep 18, 2017 #1
    CoolCat92

    CoolCat92 New Fapstronaut

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    So hi everyone. I'm new and on my 8th day of Nofap. I'm a 25 year old virgin. Not successful at all with women. Never had a girlfriend.
    This is long!!!
    Well I heard about Nofap last year in November and thought it was BS and didn't think porn use could affect people like that. So I kept jacking off and looking up porn. Then I saw some TedTalks on how bad porn use was. So I quit looking up porn, but kept jacking off unfortunately. Then in December I looked up Nofap to make sure I was doing it right. I was like 14 days in without porn, jacking off every night. And found out Nofap really meant no porn AND no jacking off! I was like what??? I don't know if I could go that long without jacking off.
    So I started watching porn again until March jacking off. I promised myself that I would quit March 10th, when I moved in with a buddy of mine and his girlfriend. Well I did, and it was hard as fuck. I was about 10 days in when they put on "Naked and Afraid" and it had naked women's ass on it. That was the downward spiral. Then the girl watched some Reality show with women getting naked in a hot tub and it was all censored. But I looked up the uncensored version online and relapsed. Then I got back on porn and promised myself I would start over again on April 1st. Well I did, this time I was 20 days in and using Tinder. Well one of my matches was very hot, so I imagined her naked and imagined having sex with her. I relapsed again! No luck with that girl. Then decided to start over AGAIN on May 1st because of my OCD, so I got back on porn jacking off everyday. Then my roommates started treating me like shit, I got bad anxiety and would be out of the apartment for most of the day until like 10 at night. So I relapsed again because I felt I needed to "destress". Well then came August 1st when I moved away from them and I was 10 days in and RELAPSED AGAIN. I noticed that when I'm lonely it makes me want to look up porn and jack off, and I am very lonely! And I noticed I enjoy looking at naked women even in nonsexual ways. But that leads to the downward spiral of relapse. Then came September 1st after jacking off every night looking up porn. I did nofap for 5 days and relapsed again. PMO is a goddamn drug! I really want to succeed so f-ing bad! So now I started again on September 10th. I'm 8 days clean. I noticed now I have nothing to do. Before it would be like "Well I'm bored. Might as well jack off to porn." Or I wake up with boners and just be like "Well now what?"
    Or little things lead to relapses for me. Instead of porn, I would read sex stories online. Sex stories would lead me to think about sex and naked women, thinking about naked women leads me to looking up nonsexual naked women, and it gets worse from there until it's porn and jacking off to it.
    I am 8 days clean now. Taking a break from the dating scene (not like I had much success to begin with), and this is the hardest shit I've ever done in my life. I now know what drug addicts feel. I applaud you all on here and hope to succeed one day and never go back to porn again! Any tips/success stories would be greatly helpful.

    Also, what does everyone think of going to a strip club for me? I think it would be VERY healthy for me to see real naked women instead of porn. I'm going with a friend next month and hopefully it will make my struggle easier.
     
    CoolCat92, Sep 18, 2017
    CoolCat92, Sep 18, 2017
    #1
  2. Sep 18, 2017 #2
    MrCAllen301986

    MrCAllen301986 Fapstronaut

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    Hey CoolCat92, welcome to Nofap. I think this community will help you out a lot. As I was reading your story, I could relate to the theme of telling yourself that you would stop watching porn and masturbation, only to relapse only a few days later. I've told myself and I've promised God so many times that I would stop pmo, but to no avail. It's a very frustrating feeling knowing that this drug is hard to kick. As far as the strip clubs, STAY AWAY FROM THEM!!!! The strip club won't do you any good. Yes, you will be seeing real women naked, but that will probably cause you to watch porn even more. Furthermore, you might start getting addicted to going to the strip club, and that addiction will cost you dearly not only mentally, but also financially. In my case, I started to go back to the strip club this past April after a 10 year hiatus. It was cool at first, because I was getting some female attention, but after a little while I started to escalate to looking for escorts to be with and I ended up meeting up with 4 escorts. What I'm trying to say is that the strip club could also cause you to escalated to new sex behaviors like going to escorts or having sex with strippers, because you're going to want to have sex with real woman, since you're at the strip club feeling up on them, you might as well have sex with them too. Trust me, you don't want to go down that path of giving your virginity to a stripper or escort, because you'll start to feel disgusted with yourself. I know these are kind of extreme examples, but they could happen to you if your not careful. Overall, going to the strip club will not make your struggle easier, it will only make it harder. I hope this helps and I wish you the best on your nofap journey.
     
    MrCAllen301986, Sep 18, 2017
    MrCAllen301986, Sep 18, 2017
    #2
    Tonytone likes this.

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